You’re Not Overreacting… You’re Time Traveling

I explore why I sometimes overreact to my kids and how it’s often not about them, but about my past. When something happens to my child—like a bad grade, getting benched, or being left out—it can catapult me back to my own teenage wounds. My nervous system, through neuroception, scans for danger and pulls old memories from my internal “storage unit,” reacting as if I’m still that younger version of myself.

I explain how parts of us can freeze in time during overwhelming experiences and how “protector parts” like the perfectionist, overachiever, or people-pleaser show up to keep us safe. These parts mean well, but they can lead me to control, fix, or overhelp my kids instead of letting them build resilience.

I share practical ways to pause, ground my nervous system, and ask, “How old do I feel right now?” That awareness helps me bring my adult self back to the driver’s seat, support my kids through their challenges, and tend to my own younger parts with compassion.

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