306: The Green Door Life Vision for Strength and Nutrition

Scottie Durrett  0:00  
Scott Welcome to the momplex Podcast. I am your host. Scotty Durrett, my passion and purpose is to help other moms just like me rediscover their joy and step into their confidence as their kids grow up. Join me as I share my own experiences, my own mistakes and aha moments as I navigate this incredible journey of motherhood while trying not to lose my identity. If you are a modern day mama who is ready to live for herself, not just for her kids, and knows that is the best possible gift you could give, then you are in the right place. This is momplex.

You Thanks. Okay, Mama, real talk. Have you ever felt like your body is screaming at you? It's throwing a full blown tantrum, but you're too damn tired, overwhelmed, or buried under wellness hacks to even decode what it's trying to say, like you've tried all the things you've cut, the carbs, drank the celery juice, walked backwards on the treadmill under the full moon, and still, you feel puffy, foggy, moody and like your body has left the group chat, and now you're looking in the mirror, thinking, Who is this person staring back at me? Where did I go? And how the hell do I get her back? Yep, been there. That's exactly why I'm bringing you this episode. I'm sitting down with two absolute legends and powerhouses, Shannon Morse and Lisa Kirby, founders of the Green Door life. These women are like wellness meets wisdom with zero BS. They are here to help us stop white knuckling our way through motherhood perimenopause and health and life and start thriving in our bodies again. In this conversation, we're diving into real healing, not diet drama or magic pills or hot girl walks, but trauma informed coaching, nervous system regulation, intuitive nourishment and learning how to build strength without shame, hustle or self abandonment, learning how to build inner strength. This combo is more than helpful. It's a full body exhale. It's the permission slip you didn't know you needed. It's time to stop punishing your body and start listening to it. To stop doing quote all the right things and start doing actually what works for you. So if your body's been whispering or straight up screaming and you're ready to finally feel good again, this one's for you. Let's freaking go. As I said in the bio, we're with some powerhouses in the room. I'm so excited. I just told them I woke up this morning kind of giddy, really, you know, just thrilled that this is a conversation we get to have today. We're going to dive into all the things I said in the bio. But before I do that, I want to just give the mic to Shannon and Lisa and rewind the tape for a second. I want to hear from both of you what pulled you each into this work, like, what was your enough? Is enough. Moment leading to the Green Door, life and Shannon, if you want to go first, and then we can let Lisa,

Shannon Morse  3:07  
okay, oh my gosh, okay, as succinct as possible, because the enough and enough is enough comes in phases. My enough is enough came from the phase of injury first, so I had severe concussion, went through Pilates for a rehabilitation that was like over 20 years ago, and I had limited movement in my cervical spine that moved me into Pilates strength training like that was my movement journey. The enough of enough of nutrition came on the back of me thinking I was going to compete for a body building competition, being put on a ketogenic diet, and then realizing that that was like the worst thing for me, and then finding a female coach who actually could tell me what would be better, and then finding a doctor who told me everything that was happening inside of my body with the metabolic damage of ketogenic diets, which led me into a full life cycle of study, testing it out of myself, testing out of my personal training clients, and then inside of that meeting Lisa, and then Lisa becoming a client of mine, and then us creating A business together. But all that to say is like the enough is enough for myself, and I know this for Lisa, because we are always in a cycle together. It comes in layers, like for me, it was physical, and then it was nutritional, and then it was spiritual, and then it was emotional, and it keeps going. So keeps going. I love that. Yeah, that's my answer.

Scottie Durrett  4:43  
I and I appreciate the honesty. It is a journey, right? And it's never ending. And I think the more we remind people that it's a consistent choice you're making every single day, that it's even with y'all the experts who are leading 1000s of women, you're still growing. You're still evolving, and so I appreciate that message coming through, because it's important for us to remember. Lisa,

Lisa Kirby  5:06  
yeah, okay, I'm gonna really try hard here to keep this short, my initial enough is enough, where I had the absolute honor. And you know, life changing experience of meeting Shannon was I was drowning in motherhood with my second child, and I saw this photo of myself. I'll never like I have this photo saved on my phone, because I never want to forget that feeling. So I always draw on that feeling when I'm thinking about who we're serving in the hardest moments of our business. Because business is the journey in and of itself. I always draw on that picture that moment I can put myself back there. And this is now about seven, seven years ago, Shannon, I don't even know now, drowning, just drowning. And I saw this photo of a mother who was not doing anything for herself, really, in terms of, like, the longer term, bigger picture, absolutely surviving in the moment, not sleeping a child, the second child who didn't sleep for two years straight, like, legit, did not sleep at all for more than 30 minutes at a time, had all kinds of eczema, feeding issues, acid reflux, you know, all these things, like, almost destroyed our marriage, like we were hanging by a thread. And I was still in those moments, pushing myself, showing up every day, working out, trying to eat healthy, whatever the heck that meant. I had no idea what I was doing with nutrition. And, you know, still showing up as best as I could. And it almost felt like the more effort I put in the worse the results got, and then I ended up finding myself at the bottom of a bottle of wine every night just trying to cope. And so I hit this wall in this moment of, Okay, what I'm doing is not working, and I'm miserable. I need to do something. I need to fix this. And so my thought was, my problem was my weight. That's what I thought I saw this picture. I hated it. I was like, How can I look like this? I'm putting in so much effort, I'm working so hard to feel and look a certain way. And it was like just destroying me. One of my best guy friends is Shannon's fiance. He calls me up one day and he was just like, hey, do you have any interest in being a nutrition coach? And I was like, what I was working in corporate at the time while drowning in motherhood. And I was just like, this is a sign. This is an absolute sign. I was like, I don't know anything about what that means, but I want to know and Sign me up. And so as soon as I met Shannon, I think the biggest thing that I would love for for moms who feel like they're in that moment and they're drowning, you cannot replace or explain the value of having someone hold space for you as a mother, and for Shannon to hold me was so different than like a therapist, because here was this woman who was, you know, about the same age as me, who was showing me what I was missing, this piece of identity I had just completely lost. I didn't know who I was anymore, and she reminded me of this spark of, like, there's more to to you than a mom. There's more to you than your career there. What about the you underneath? Where has she been? What is she? So that was kind of my initial why, and I'm just so grateful. That's why Shannon and I both, you know, we jump out of bed every day. We're like, we love what we do. It is such an honor to pull people through that enough is enough moment. And I

Scottie Durrett  8:42  
appreciate both of you, because it was pain, right? And different types of pain. And I think the more we talk about it and we admit that we're not feeling good, I think so often women especially have so much shame when they're not enjoying their life and all the riches that they've been given. Especially, you know, you think, Gosh, I'm I'm so lucky. I'm able to wake up every day and put food on the table. And, you know, I have people in my life who care about me, and I maybe I'm choosing to be a mom. And so there's all this stuff that goes through our heads. So we think, Wait, if I'm not happy, if I'm craving more, if I wish I was 10 pounds thinner, had a different job, I'm the problem, you know, and so there's this shame that comes in around the pain. And they tried it. We I did this for decade, push the pain down until our body starts to scream at us, or we get that kind of flash in the, you know, face to slap across the face. So I just appreciate both of you, because both was really coming from pain. I think pain is a beautiful teacher. If we allow it to be, it can be such a beautiful What do they say? Discomfort is a catalyst for transformation. Yeah? Like,

Shannon Morse  9:47  
we have to have pain in order to have growth, yeah, if you think about a tree, like, if you trim a tree, it starts creating new growth. Yeah, our, our culture is actually backwards, like we've been talking about the info. Inflammation cycle. Like inflammation, inflammation is natural. We have to inflame in order to rebuild. But what the problem with women is is that they are in chronic inflammation because they never rest. So that high, wired and tired experience that they're experiencing, if you are doing that all the time, you can never close an inflammatory cycle. You can never actually repair muscle tissue. You can never actually regenerate your skin cells with all of the lovely collagen you're putting into your diet. Like, if you don't understand, and we don't teach this in mainstream, but actual, like, let's just say pain could be also said, actual inflammation is good if we have the appropriate rest and recovery that is on the other side so that we can grow from it. That's so if we're talking about some moms who are listening and they're feeling this right, they're feeling tired all the time, this bloated, foggy, anxious, gaining weight, even though they're doing everything right, where do you even begin when someone's body is screaming and they don't have this information, or they're not ready to accept you need to rest and let your influence, like, you know, kind of going against what they're seeing on social media all the time, right? Like, how do you kind of put your hands on that mom's shoulders and say, hold on. Like, where does she start? I know that's kind of a big question. No, I'll say something, and then I definitely want to give it to Lisa, because I feel like this is really where she can speak from her own personal rewiring as a mom. But just in general, we actually can only meet someone where they're at now, and it doesn't mean that we're going to take them from, oh, you're wired and tired and like, you can't calm down your nervous system. We're just going to tell you to, like, sit here and meditate and then, like, try not to think about anything like that actually doesn't work. So we have to slowly stair step down with many different modalities. That's why we're holistic. It's not just about food, it's not just about movement, it's not just about mindset. It's like you can look at the entire spectrum of what's happening in someone's life and work with them as a unique process, and go, What are the lowest hanging fruit for that individual? Got it? Yeah, so, but, but least, please.

Lisa Kirby  12:18  
No, it's that's such a great point. It's very bio individual, I would say. So for some people, I had one, one past client, you know, reach out to us, because we go through these cycles too. We that's one of the things we teach. Is like, we think there's this, like, with body composition, or any goal related to health, oh, we get to this point and it's like a college degree, and you just get it, and then you're done, and all your problems are solved, and then you're like that forever. And it's like, actually a lot of us are addicted to the cycle of achieving, achieving, always working on something, always trying to lose weight. And it's like, Have you ever just existed in your body? Have you ever sustained and held what you have worked for, what you have you know, these habits that you've changed over time, because a lot of us have, like, seen a little bit of success, maybe we tried something that worked. Can you hold it? We're not interested in anything that doesn't feel sustainable, because then you're just constantly chasing. You're in survival mode, and just like Shannon saying you're never resting, you're never moving through that. So for some people, like I had a client reach out to us, and she's like, you know, I went through 2020 and I gained a little weight back, and I feel very ashamed of myself. I know better. I have the education. And I was like, this is actually so normal. This is part of the journey of being able to maintain and hold everything you know now. And she's like, What's one thing? She's like, I just need something to focus on. Where should I start? And I was like, walk. I'm like, just walk. Just start with walking. I'm like, ramp up your walking and tell me how you feel. And then she she messages me two weeks later. She's like, I lost five pounds. I feel great because I knew I'm like, okay, walking is going to make her feel better in the moment. She doesn't need to be on a macro plan yet. I'm like, Just get back to this, and you're going to feel so good. Your endorphins are going to flow, your blood sugar is going to get more balanced. So it really is bio individual. But I would say, in the grander scheme of like, our actual programming, we our main program, awakening nutrition, offers this doorway to a level of self inquiry and awareness through food, because it's something, as Shannon so beautifully describes, something a lot of us do multiple times a day, and have been doing for so long. And it's like when you look at anything that you're doing over and over. It's a chance to kind of see, okay, what are the patterns and beliefs in that area that also show up elsewhere. And if we can just little by little, sustainably look at things and just, you know, change little by little, instead of anything drastic, it has that opportunity to carry out in other areas of life. Um. So I'm not even talking about weeks. I'm talking about days. I texted Shannon after working with her immediately, and I was like, we need to sell this to mothers immediately. Immediately. I was like, just eating regular meals and increasing my protein, they were the smallest changes. And I was like, I'm a better parent. I am a better parent to my toddler who is screaming right now and having a tantrum, I can hold the emotional capacity and space for him like I couldn't three days ago. I was sold after that, I'm like, left my job. This is it. We need to get this out to the world, because we're not good, we're not taught this information. And then to be able to extend that education to my kids and see how food impacts your mental health and your ability to regulate emotions, this is like step one of self care that is not taught. And so that's really part of our mission. You know,

Scottie Durrett  16:01  
a couple of things I want to touch on that both of you said, but it isn't taught, and there isn't a real clear space to go for it, right? And so you've got a really tired, exhausted mom who maybe has a few minutes to scroll or ask her best friend, but somewhat exactly what you said. Shannon, with your experience, the keto diet might work perfectly for some people. Intermittent fasting might work great for some people, but it's not. Nutrition isn't a one size fits all, but there's that piece right there is missing. We're just told, Hey, eat these five things, or take this pill, or do this and you'll be fine. And then you think, Wait, it's not working for me. I still don't feel I don't have the energy to take care of my kid. I'm wishing the hours away till they go take a nap so I can just finally catch my breath. Yeah, but you know, so I love y'all approach, and I'm a client, and I'm going through this right now. It's it's not overwhelming, and it feels very doable. It feels very much fitting into my life, but it's giving me time to become educated on how I'm feeling. And you said that when you talk to your client about the walking tell me how you feel. When's the last time someone said to a tired woman, ambitious Mom, tell me how you feel. You know it's like, Wait, how do I feel? Well, how's my happiest kid right now? That's how I feel, right? And it's there's just such a big missed opportunity like, you know, because for me, I know now that as I'm choosing to take care of my kids, even by them seeing me do that, they're seeing Wow, mom is taking care of herself, and she's not yelling as much. I like that. I like that. So when you're talking about a simple shift or practice that a mom could say she's listening right now and start today to feel more grounded or energized, you said walking. What are some other things she could do in her busy as crap day? Maybe she doesn't have an hour to work out. Maybe she doesn't have time, but she definitely is wanting more. What are a few things that you feel like are available to her right now that she could add into today? I want

Shannon Morse  18:08  
to answer that, and I want to share something about what you just said, because I think it's important that we actually address it. Our culture thinks that there's a pill or there's a 30 day thing, or there's something that's going to be very fast that's going to solve our problem. But what I want to actually speak into that needs to be said is that there's actually not, there's not in this area of health, like health is cyclical and health is compounding, and the health inside of our cells is a makeup of repetition. So the cellular turnover is through doing something consistently, and over the course of a year's time, about 99% of our cells actually regenerate. And so all of the information that we give our cells over the course of a year is basically creating the new makeup of our cellular expression, and we've been taught as a society that a pill or a quick fix or doing something for a short period of time, like dropping in class pass once a month and just trying something out should give us a certain type of result. But I'm going to be the, you know, the not so popular good thing, and say, I'm sorry that's actually not accurate, but if we want to do something that's sustainable, and that would be actually make a big difference, having breakfast within your first hour is going to make a big difference, and likely for women having breakfast, and it depends on how old you are, having breakfast that has protein fiber coming from fibers, vegetables, natural sources of fat and maybe a lower carbohydrate intake depending on your age. And this is bio individual, just that alone will help to set the stage for your blood sugar for the rest of the day. And most women, especially moms, are skipping that, or they are picking out their kids breakfast and having coffee first, which absolutely just. Destroys their blood sugar for the rest of the day. And the result of that, if you are in the cycle, what you will experience is that in the afternoon, you will be hangry, yep, you will more likely be more likely to not be super like, stoked about your kids crying if that happens, yep. And you will be ravenous around three to four. And then you'll want one craving

Scottie Durrett  20:18  
a box of cheez. Its maybe eating your kids goldfish right out of their lunchbox, exactly.

Shannon Morse  20:24  
And it just perpetuates the cycle. So I wanted to speak into both of those things, because unfortunately, the question itself about like, one thing you know, that's simple and quick, the question itself is part of the rewiring construct that we're looking to do with women. It's not a fast thing. Like, I'm sorry we don't get to do it that way, and

Scottie Durrett  20:48  
I'm glad you're bringing it up, because it's something that I'm seeing with my community. I'm 48 we're definitely in perimenopause. The metabolism has just plummeted. You know, you're looking in the mirror and you're, I curse, by the way, a lot. You're looking in the mirror, and you're like, Who the fuck is that? Who is that? I don't recognize her. And I had a meltdown about six months ago where my husband and I were going out to dinner. Nothing fit, because I was bloated from head to toe, and I just was like, sobbing in the you know, and my sweet husband came in, he's like, let's just go buy new clothes. But there was this part of me. I'm like, No, I don't want to throw in the towel. I don't want to just say I have to just be this way because I don't like the way I feel right now. But yet, I have a lot of friends and I will get villainized for this, who were taking all the shots. They're, you know, they're addicted to Botox and filler and ozempic. Great. I mean, it's fine if that's been discussed with your doctor, and this is what makes sense for your body. But what is missing is this education of great now that we have this tool that's just up here, what about all the stuff that's going on below the surface? And by the way, you can't live off of this forever. You can't put Botox in your face forever, it's gonna eventually stop working. So the lack of information about how do you prevent yourself from down the road having another meltdown in your closet because you didn't set up those, I guess, realistic, sustainable habits, but nobody is being truthful. You're looking on even the face cream. Hey, if you finish this jar, then you'll you'll have no wrinkles. So you go out by the jar of face cream, and you do it, you're like, wait, what's so I'm the problem, because it didn't work for me. And then it comes back into that shame spiral, right? And it comes back into, she's back right where she started, and she's feeling so discouraged. I don't know where we go from here, but it's just,

Lisa Kirby  22:43  
I was gonna jump in and say fascinating about just even, just like the peptides conversation, your nutrition and training is actually more important to dial in. If you choose that route, it's more important because, Okay, interesting. Because what can happen over time, and they're still very new. If you do not dial in your protein and your retention of muscle mass, you will down regulate your metabolism, so you will burn less calories per day. You will lose muscle mass over time. You will actually gain body fat, even if your weight doesn't change. So even if your clothes fit better, and you lose muscle mass, and you gain body fat, which is totally possible. You could literally say the same exact weight, it will reduce your metabolic rate, and you will not be able to eat as much food. And then you're really looking at issues of longevity. And then you're looking at what are the diseases of low muscle mass as you age. Now, you're getting into really scary territory, because in perimenopause, you're losing muscle mass anyway, unless you have the habits in place to prevent that. So now you're looking at things like osteoporosis. You're looking at not recovering from a fall in your 70s and 80s. So and this is like that period of time is crucial. It's like a second puberty for women, where it's almost like you need to dial that in. It becomes a non negotiable, and you need to dial that in with or without peptides. So there's actually no even with that, which has been miraculous for so many people, there's still no way around not addressing the bigger issue here, which is like, it's less focus of weight loss, and we're really in the conversation of, do you have the nutrients and the metabolic tissue to carry you and All that you are doing as a modern woman to carry you through that time period and beyond, right? It's such a different conversation. It's actually making sure that you are well resourced as a woman. And it's getting out of that conver it's getting out of that mindset of shrink, shrink, shrink, less, less, less we're. More like fuel, fuel, fuel, fuel, build, build, build, build, nourish, carry you.

Scottie Durrett  25:06  
And to your point, I know y'all. I mean, it's a big thing with the mindset. That's a, that's a meaning shift, that's a definition shift, right? That that's a belief that is ingrained, you know, growing up with, oh my gosh, it was the fat free craze, right? If you just eat a bagel with fat free turkey. How did you make fat free Turkey, right? I don't even know, but I ate that, right? And then the only chips and everybody's intestines were just falling out of their body. But didn't matter, because, you know, we weighed 102 pounds, right? And so then that kind of connected that that became the scale, became the measurement for successful health, right? So if you stand on the scale and you've gained weight, oh shit, you're falling apart. You must be terrible. You must be eating bad foods, right? So then you start labeling foods good and bad. So then, like you said, if you like, you're starting the day with those thoughts, skipping breakfast. You know, you're ironically putting yourself into the same position, right? So it's really a shift. What now? I mean, we only have 30 minutes, but you know, when you're working with your clients, sometimes you just have to go backwards, right? To go forwards. Would you say, like, mindset is something that y'all, I mean, that's priority number one, I would assume, right?

Shannon Morse  26:20  
Well, I wanted to speak into that because you're actually talking about, like, this very inherent cycle that I feel women have when you're talking like, oh, the face cream, like, but it didn't work for me. There must be something broken with me. Yeah, right. So what we're seeing and when part of this process, and part of the process, why we have 12 week programs is because if we are going to a 30 day experience, we don't get to go through the entire life cycle of behavior change. There was this old adage that behavior change was 21 days. I'm sorry I've never seen that like there's so many things that we were told and we believed for. Who knows why? Because we were told by something outside of ourselves that that was true, but we never actually experienced it for ourselves. So one of the ways in which we go through supporting individuals, through rewiring their programming, is that they actually get to experience it in real time, and they get rooted into what's actually happening, how their body's feeling, what's happening with like their clothes, what's actually happening to their weight. So instead of thinking of weight is my association with self worth, weight is actually my association with nourishment and understanding how water and sugar is shuttling into my muscle tissue. And when we're able to extrapolate those two because it's such a systemic belief that weight equals, Am I worthy? It's so deeply ingrained in us, deeply, yeah, it's deep. And so it takes a while to remove the belief from the reality that weight does not equal worthiness. Weight actually equals bone, muscle, water. You know what I mean, all those organs, brain, noggin, clothes, I don't know. You know yo, you're five pounds heavier. Do you have jeans on and a belt? That could be why? Know what I mean. So it's like part of this process as a culture and a society, yeah, is x like is removing the false belief from reality, and that takes time, and the more we do that, there's emotions that come up because those beliefs are not only ours, they're our cultures. Yeah, so we have to, like, it's like, Velcro, and the velcro wants to reattach. And so as coaches and as a community, we just get to continue going, like, oh, that's reattaching real quick. That's okay. It happens, you know, like, let's just, let's just open it just a little bit more and go, like, is that true right now? No, because you were sick and your body's retaining water and and, of course, you're going to weigh five pounds more because you haven't had a bowel movement in the last four days. And that happens. Your body's wise, you know. It's doing that for a reason. Yeah, so to move into creating a foundation of actually trusting our body, which, as a culture, we haven't done that at all, because we keep outsourcing to what's going to fix me from out there, rather than what is my body telling me, as, in my belief, the most absolutely intelligent computer on the planet.

Scottie Durrett  29:36  
And it goes back to what y'all were saying, too. It's that measurement of, well, how do you feel? I think that's always been avoided, right? It's how do you feel. So maybe you did go up a couple of pounds, but I slept great. I am laughing more. I had more energy to do my workout. I lifted a heavier weight today. You know, it's all those things that we kind of separate from full body health, right? We think, Oh, I stepped on a scale. Five pounds down, I'm healthy. And then there's this separation between, oh, I laughed with my kids today. That's not health. I took a nap today. Oh, that's not health, right? But it's really what you're saying. It's, it's the entire existence. Yes, it's all connected, which this message is coming out more and more, but there's still that habit of wanting it to be super quick, especially when you see the polished idea from your neighbor, the woman, the mom and carpool line, and you think, gosh, if she did it, you know, what is she doing? No one's gonna say, well, it's seven years later in my journey, right? I'm still going, even though that's the truth, you almost want to. It's like, good for you. I'm what a badass. Thank goodness there's somebody out there. Versus, Oh, I did this in 30 days. What did you do? You know, and it's kind of this, like, choice. It's the same thing that goes on. I we found with moms, it's, no, I'm more tired. No, I have more on my plate. My kids are busier now. It's like, well, guess what? I'm getting a facial today. Why don't we brag about that? My kids slept through the night after two years. Why aren't we bragging about that? So it's kind of, I'm so thankful for y'all, because we need some leaders to go forward and kind of set some new messages, right? It's like, we're actually bragging about taking care of ourselves, right?

Lisa Kirby  31:20  
And Swami, what you're pointing to is this other underlying belief that we see so much of, and is to be totally transparent, is one of the harder beliefs to rewire. It's that we think. Most of us think that health should be hard. We think that having a healthy body composition, so our the amount of muscle mass to fat mass and our level of fitness, we think it should be hard. So if it's not hard and it's not painful, we think I must not be doing enough. And part of the problem, especially as women get to the perimenopause age, we cannot handle as much cortisol. We just we do not tolerate stress the same. Our estrogen is going all over the place. Our progesterone is plummeting. Our progesterone is our our I call it the granny girl hormone that that forces us to chill. We're not doing that, and we don't have enough of that. So actually doing too much backfires. And so when, when I first started working with Shannon, and I felt like, you know, I wasn't ready to adopt the workouts that she had provided. And I was just like, you know, they just didn't leave me dying and crying in a pool of sweat. I didn't think it was worth my time. I only have this much time. I only have this much time. I'm going to do something that is absolutely going to obliterate me and leave me dying on the floor. And what did that do? That type of training ramped up muscles in areas I didn't even want. I developed huge quadriceps. Didn't want that at all. And then my appetite went through the roof. And so it was this unlearning of oh my goodness, I can do so much less than I was doing, and actually, it doesn't have to be hard or painful like to be fully transparent. For me, I struggled with binge eating my whole life, since I was a child, and so every time I tried to, you know, get a handle on my health and my weight, it was through extreme restriction and very painful, and I just don't have enough willpower. I must have an addiction problem to food. You know, I thought I was addicted to sugar. And it comes to find like come to find, actually, I had a problem with not nourishing myself and fueling myself properly. And it was actually not. It was from just starving myself for so much of the day to where my body just couldn't handle it anymore. So the UN teaching is that health and fitness does not have to be hard or painful. It really does not.

Scottie Durrett  33:53  
That's awesome.

Shannon Morse  33:56  
Good news. Good news,

Scottie Durrett  34:02  
what I was doing, even during COVID, how I was working out and showing up. I had all this time so I could work out for an hour and a half a day, and I felt great. And then 45 hit, and all of a sudden my body was I was out of fuel, and I just didn't understand. And so I kept pushing thinking I was weak, but I was just depleting myself and probably not letting the inflammation cycle go fully through you know, and it's as much as I love telling my story to other moms, it's not really they don't want to see all the behind the scenes all the time, like they don't want to see the hard choices all the time. They just want life to feel easier. They want the choice, they want it to be simple, so that they can go on about their day and not worry about food and working out all the time. So this whole belief changing that it doesn't that whole no pain, no gain, can we just like, get rid of that whole thing and just what about feeling good is the measure? Measurement for your health, and that goes back to what y'all are saying, like, how do you feel? Right? Did you enjoy that workout? Or were you literally dreading it and wishing the minutes away? Because that's, that's cortisol, right, exactly, but it's, that's the belief system that I'm also dealing this with my clients, too. It's the same belief I can't invest in myself because that takes time and resources away from my kids, right? If I'm going to go have a session with a CL a coach and invest several $1,000 in time and energy and choices and change the grocery list, you know, what? How is that going to what does that make me as a mom? You know? But to your point, Lisa, what you're saying now that you're actually able to pass down these healthy habits to our kids, how lucky. Gosh, I wish, don't you? Wish you could get into the school curriculum and be like, Give me, give me a semester. Look, all they teach them is the magic plate like this. This blows my mind, and this is part of the systemic issue that we're dealing with with just like health in the US. Isn't it crazy that we have a belief that I shouldn't as a mother, as if I were her mother, I shouldn't spend money on me, because that's taking away from my children. But what actually gives back to your kids more than teach them how to treat their body, 100% how to care for their body, like isn't that the gift that will never, ever be too expensive for your kids? Yeah, my priorities are now, my health, yep, my kids, my work, yep. And some people think I'm selfish. I'm like, nope, nope. My kids are counting on me. They don't care what I do when they're not here, but they care how I am when they are around. And if I'm exhausted, starving myself, not sleeping, living off a pot of coffee. I'm not even there. They're not even getting the real me. They're getting a shell of my former self and my daughter. This was several years ago. I was standing at the kitchen counter, and she looked at me and said, I do not want to be a mom. You look miserable all the time. Oh. I was like, okay, all right, shift, turn, turn. But as hard as the truth was, I was like, she's right. Yeah, she's right. And is that the blueprint that I want to give her, that I don't want to feel good, that I don't love my body, that I don't want information similar, going back to what y'all were saying about you know, you're, we're going through puberty again. You're maybe your body is having a different week. Maybe you ate sushi last night. Maybe you're traveling or working too hard. I think this beautiful awareness and acceptance that we're still growing, right? We're still going through stuff that we've never been through before. I think a lot of moms think they should have it all figured out, and it's we have to give ourselves this grace that we also don't. I don't I don't know everything. I haven't figured every I've never been 48 before. How would I know what I'm supposed to be doing at 48 unless I go try some stuff. I so I'm in your program right now. I'm in the 12 week program. I love it, by the way. It's so good, very, very new, and I'm in what y'all are calling this awareness phase, where I'm just starting to, I'm starting to track my food, but I don't really like saying track my food, because I've had eating disorders my whole life, and there was this negative association tracking my food meant, what was I putting in and out of my body that was good and bad, right? So now I'm just, I'm working through that relationship of putting the food in there and being really honest, but it's kind of fun. You know, I'm really motivated about becoming healthier, and I know I want to feel better, but now I'm starting to there's so much awareness around what is the what are you actually using to feed your body, or, I guess, fuel your body every day. So if that's the beginning step, how do you support a mom or a woman who's coming through and it's triggering, right? It could be bringing up some like you said, maybe that Velcro is, like, going right back. I'm like, uh, like, how do you talk to somebody? Help me? Is

Shannon Morse  38:59  
this? Is this coming up for you right now,

Scottie Durrett  39:03  
maybe my best friend over here. I'm asking for a friend. Okay, I'm asking for a friend, your friends.

Shannon Morse  39:09  
Okay, well, so I think it's really a beautiful thing, if we think about our old concept around, like, quote, unquote tracking, because tracking to me says, like we're there, there could be a good or a bad, as you were using that word. But instead, if we can look at it with curiosity of what am I inside of my body that's becoming the cells of my body that actually dictates how I'm going to feel? And so if we can slow and really it's a trust fall in the beginning, right? And so instead of looking at food as good or bad, looking at it and going, Okay, well, when we start to understand what carbohydrates do for us, when we start to understand what amino acids inside of our protein sources, how they actually work in the body, and how different sources of fat will have. Different benefits, and how different vegetables will have different benefits for different organs and like hair, skin and nails. And when we start to understand a little bit more about this, it's not so much about is this hitting a number, it's how is this nourishing me? And how do I want to use it for my particular goals right now? So, and we can do this with alcohol too. Like for moms that are drinking out there, like this is one of the things where I was really loving this, because I was like, I want to make everything work for me. I want to like, work the system, whether that was within my own body or what's like, you know, whatever it might be, if we understand the purpose and function of something, then we can wield it to our choice, right? Then it's no longer something that is happening because we're like, whoops, I didn't realize that was going to happen. You know what I mean? So for example, like a little thing to share with moms out there, if you enjoy your wine and if you want to buzz, and you guys probably already know this, but from a scientific perspective, if you want to buzz, you are going to get that buzz if you drink on an empty stomach, right? We just know that, however, if you decide that maybe you don't want as much of a buzz and you actually want to absorb the nutrients that you are putting into your body, you are going to want to eat first. If you have food in your stomach, it's going to help to create an enzyme in your stomach that helps to break down alcohol. If we understand that, then we can go, Okay, I'm going to go to this birthday party. I know they're going to have champagne. I know I want to have a glass. All right, so I'm going to make sure I have some food. But I know I'm driving later, so I'm going to have some food, and then I'm going to wait 30 minutes, I'm going to have my glass of champagne, I'm going to enjoy it, and then I will more easily be able to metabolize the alcohol in my system, right? So it just depends, like, when we know this, we don't have to vilify it, then we just get to use it based on what we actually want to experience, not only in our body, but in our life.

Lisa Kirby  42:05  
I love it. I love it. And it's like the the intention is everything. Because I Scotty, I had this thing, you know, I had tracked at various times in my life when I was really struggling, struggling with disordered eating, and when I met Shannon, that was my first concern was, one, I don't want to develop, you know, have that re emerge. And then two, my other huge concern, and we hear this a lot from moms, was, like, my kids, I don't want my kids seeing me weigh and track my food. And I built this whole story, which Shannon beautifully walked me through immediately. But I built this whole story of like, if my kids see me doing this, they're gonna think that I'm, you know, I have an eating just I made it into its own eating disorder. Does that make sense? So? But what I realized, what it was my intention. So my intention before, when I tracked, was get as small as possible, restrict eat under 1200 calories. You know, all my intentions were very diet culture focused, where Shannon helps me really quickly. I was like, Wait, you're not judging me at all for I was like, she's gonna see my food logs and just give me a scolding. And she was, I was like, shocked that she was so accepting and judgment free, and was helping me develop this curiosity. And I was like, Wait, I don't know what I was expecting, like an authoritative parent or something that was going to tell me how bad I was. And I don't know where it's like, then you start to unpack Where do these voices and assumptions come from? And you know, they're working on you, whether consciously or unconsciously, all the time. So then I was like, Oh, this is me. That's not I'm like, already building the story of what it's, you know, what it's not. So with tracking, where I switched really quickly was, oh, I this is not about restriction. This is actually, what am I actually putting in my body, and is this working for me and in my fueling enough? And then I brought my kids into the conversation. I was like, Mommy is in a nutrition program. You guys, Mommy is learning how the heck for the first time in her life. Oh my gosh, did you know this really small serving size of rice has 45 grams of carbohydrates, because I didn't know, and then I just started weaving them in anything I do. I always bring them into my experience, and I that's just part of how I parent. I never tell them what to do. I include them in everything that I do, and so does. And so now they know more than anyone, most adults about nutrition and our teachers tell us, their teachers at school, they're like, Do you have any protein in that snack? Like, what's your protein in your lunch? Like, they know so much now, it was like, Oh, I have the power if I change the story and the intention. It doesn't have to be about restriction and dieting. It actually about nourishing and fueling, and I can include my kids in the process and so that, thank you, Shannon, because that is, what a gift. Because I will say, also, not all coaches do that. No, you absolutely find a macro coach that's just like, hit these numbers.

Scottie Durrett  45:21  
We don't know that. Yeah, I think that applies to, you know, not just even if you're wanting to track your nutrition, if you're wanting to work out. It's really finding that fit. It's so personal, right? It's really making sure that you feel safe in that space with that person, that you will admit the things that are going on, because so much of what we're talking about, a lot of it really comes back to it's being honest in communication, like communicating with yourself, communicating with your coach, communicating with your body and your family and your kids, right? I think that's going to help us remove the pressure of this being so shameful, and because it's when it's out, you're like, hey, it's not that bad, and they didn't judge me, and they didn't tell me I was failing. I didn't miss the quiz or except I did fail the quiz today, but, but you start to realize, Wait, I'm stronger than all of that, and so much of is like really becoming and cut really communicating with yourself. How do I feel today? How do I feel when I woke up today. What are the thoughts going on in my brain? You know, I when I said I woke up this morning, I had a glass of water, and I was like, it's going to be a good day, versus, oh, I'm already behind, right? Like, it's so much power. But being in a space where you feel safe and supported and held, that space that's being held for you to allow you to be human, allow you to be authentic, and allow you to learn in a way that feels really good to you. And that's why I love working with y'all, because it just feels really natural. I don't feel like my life has had to shift or change. I'm not even sure if my kids are even aware right yet, and I'll include them, but it's not like my whole I had to become a different person. I had to live a different life. My kids had to change or leave the house. It's just part it's like those it's like a tiny little like fluid shift that's like coming through my day. It's like this thread that's kind of weaving through. And so for me, it feels like something that I can do long term, right? That fits into my busy life, versus the other way around, which I think is so important for a mom who is so busy, who wants to feel better, and is kind of tried a bunch of things that didn't work before it's really finding what is, what fits into your life, right, so that it makes sense with your unique makeup, just like you're talking about, which goes back to the food anyway, Before I let y'all go. I want to hear what is the one thing. I know you don't like the one thing because it all taps into everything.

Shannon Morse  47:50  
It's fine, okay.

Scottie Durrett  47:51  
But so say you had, you had 20 moms in front of you, and you just had, like, just one second to say, like, girls, if I can just tell you one thing. Or if you could go back in time and talk to yourself 10 years ago, what would you go and tap around the shoulder and say

Shannon Morse  48:11  
just one thing, so you go first and it can loop

Scottie Durrett  48:17  
into other stuff.

Lisa Kirby  48:20  
I've been preaching this a lot stress, what we think about as stress is not a feeling, it's a physiological state. So it's a physiological state in your body. And so when we hear this kind of archetype of the busy mom, and she's so stressed and just and so for many women, we just accept it like this is just how it is. It doesn't to be that way. And so for so many women, they're not even aware of how stressed they are and how chronically stressed they are, and that there actually is a different way of being. There is a choice and a different way of being. It doesn't have to be like that. We can get addicted to that state of being so regardless of how you feel, stress is the physiological state. And again, it's that same kind of unlearning, unlearning and realizing that it doesn't have to be that way, and that can be uncomfortable. So for our a lot of our moms and other women who have a hard time slowing down. And Shannon and I can relate, because we've been in that go mode where you're just constantly going and then you never have to be in your body or address some things. So part of this slowing down and kind of unlearning and then relearning a different way of nourishing, like a whole different mindset. It's not always comfortable, and it's the best thing. It's the greatest gift you could ever give yourself.

Scottie Durrett  49:46  
I love that. I love that. Yeah,

Shannon Morse  49:50  
yeah, okay. Shannon, I would also say that's like a 10 year cycle for me, when I think about that, for me, like that cycle. I'm like, that was a 10 year cycle. I was like, in go mode for a solid nine I was like, maybe, you know, maybe I just stopped doing because I don't want to feel something, no, that my doing was my mechanism for not wanting to, yeah, underneath, you know, I mean, so I think about that. I'm like, that's a long inflammatory cycle that one let me that one, I think my 10, like 10 years ago, which is essentially when I realized all of this, my biggest aha moment was about fat intake from my body, because I loved, loved, loved to make stir fries. And my stir fries would have like, lots of avocado, or like, it would have avocado on top, it would have cheese on top, it would have olive oil nuts, like, there was just so much. And then in terms of salads, I would just have so much healthy fat. Because, yeah, my brain was like, this is healthy. And at that time, especially, carbohydrates were very vilified at that period of time. And then I was put on this ketogenic diet, and I just thought that it was normal to be carrying, like, an additional 20 pounds on my body of fat, and it was also normal to feel lethargic when I was waking up in the morning. I didn't realize that, like, I didn't really have a lot of energy to do what I wanted to do, and I was training clients eight hours a day, and I just thought all of this shit was normal, yeah, and not until I realized that my body just required for what I was asking of it in the amount of workouts I was doing and the type of schedule, I had that my body was actually asking for less fat and more carbohydrates, like, until I realized that I was just operating with this old belief that said, like, well, healthy fat is healthy fat, right? It doesn't like, go to fat in my body, right? I just didn't get it at all. And when I finally understood that my personal body required a different amount of carbohydrates, fat and protein throughout the day and at every meal, my body dropped about 15 pounds of fat within like a month and a half. Like it was so fast when I was giving my body what it needed, and it wasn't about calorie restriction, it was about balance. Yeah, so, but again, like if I had told myself that 10 years or even 20 years ago, right? I would not be in this position. I wouldn't my indoor life wouldn't exist. But, yeah, it was my huge door opener. I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, we've been told some bullshit, you guys, like, some hardcore bullshit about fat and carbohydrates and all of this, like, slim, fast Weight Watchers and like, it's just there's so much that just like, messed us up, they just

Lisa Kirby  52:58  
rotate. What is the vilified thing? And that's why everyone has a problem. Yeah, it's like, everyone gets demonized. It's been carbs, sugar, fat, now even protein. Don't overeat protein. You're gonna your kidneys up. Meat, plants. It's like, water,

Scottie Durrett  53:17  
water. I water, sun, sun. That gives us life. I play. It's just Yeah,

Lisa Kirby  53:25  
saying that, like we find anything to eat at all because there's something out there. There's some guru, especially with social media explosion now, some guru saying kale is going to kill you, and then you have, you know, never eat red meat. It's carcinogenic. And so people are like, I don't know, yeah, so they

Scottie Durrett  53:43  
fall back on their old habits, right? Like you get overwhelmed. And so what do you do? You cope with the anxiety and the overwhelm by your old natural habits and beliefs, which makes perfect sense, and then you find yourself right back where you were again. It's, I love what you know, the what y'all are saying too, it's the best GPS system that we have, is our own bodies, right? It's like really listening to what you're asking your body to do on a daily basis, right? You got big goals, great. Let's go for them, but let's make sure that we're actually setting ourselves up to achieve those right? Like, if you want to run the marathon or work out four days a week, or walk, you know, 10,000 steps a day, is that even a real number? You know, it's like, what are these goals? What are you asking? Doesn't mean you can't do it, but are you actually giving your body what it's asking for? And I think there's that real, beautiful opportunity, and I'm learning how to do this right now, quieting my ego, quieting that those old beliefs, and just starting to communicate with How does this feel? How does this feel? How does you know? How does my from head to toe? What does it need? How is it feeling? And that's a beautiful education, but it's not overnight. It's going to take some time. But then you're but then you have it forever. Yes, you have that information forever. Yeah,

Shannon Morse  55:03  
and the journey is really beautiful. It is, you know, if we get to like, even, as you're saying that just just learning to almost like, bump up against new things and go, What does this feel like? Do I like them? Do I not like this? You know, thinking of it as like a journey of self discovery at every phase in every season of life that we're in. Like we continually get to do that over and over again. And I think it's really lovely when we're given permission to enjoy that exploration. You know, instead of being like, I'm gonna do this because I'm attached to the specific outcome. Yeah, rather going, how do I actually want to feel? I get to discover it every day.

Scottie Durrett  55:47  
Well, y'all are amazing. How can everybody find you?

Lisa Kirby  55:52  
We are our probably most popular place for, you know, millennials and elder millennials, which is, you know, who's most drawn to us right now is Instagram. You can find us at the Green Door life, the Green Door dot life, the Green Door life, on Instagram, and then our website is thegreendorelife.com we also have, I mean, we're all over on social media. Our YouTube channel is the Green Door life. If you go to our website, you can also find, you know, get on our email list, but I would say Instagram is the best place. And

Scottie Durrett  56:27  
your 12 week program that's always enrolling, right? Like, if somebody's listening and they want to have a conversation with you, they can have that discovery call, and then you will think about what's best for them, but that's always available. It's evergreen, correct? So, okay, you know? And I think sometimes everybody just needs to hear something at that moment, and it it'll activate somebody. And I just think what y'all are doing is amazing. So thank you so much. What is an activity that y'all like to do during the day that can help you kind of de stress?

Lisa Kirby  57:00  
So so many. I mean, for me, after turning 40, walking, yeah, we're not a walker, and you are over 40, let me save you lots of pain and and struggle there, like, become a walker I am, and I know Shannon too. Like, even, it's like, I look at my entire day honestly, and I'm like, Can I do this while walking? Oh, I love that. Yeah. And also, it's been in a it's been a beautiful bonding moment for our family, because every I've got everybody on board now I'm like, it's like, all day. I'm like, do you want to go to walk? Do you want to go to

Scottie Durrett  57:39  
walk? Love it. I love it. It's meditative too. It's so healing. If you don't like to meditate, go for a walk. I love it. It brings

Lisa Kirby  57:46  
your just another tip. It brings your cortisol down. It's one of the few types of movement that reduces cortisol, literally reduces cortisol, and balances your helps balance your blood sugar. Both

Scottie Durrett  57:59  
of my sons play baseball, and they have to be at the baseball games an hour before the game. So I just throw my air pods and I walk around the neighborhood and listen to a murder podcast. It's how I give myself a mental vacation and I de stress.

Shannon Morse  58:18  
Oh my gosh, we love that

Scottie Durrett  58:21  
can't always be self help. You know, it can't always be self help. Awesome. What about you? Shannon, then I'll let y'all go. I know it's been an hour of your time. Thank you so much. I

Shannon Morse  58:31  
definitely on the walking train. I think that's been something I've just done always music. I use music to put me in different moods, like from first thing in the morning, and also to transition from phases I will just naturally Listen to what my senses want. For music, like this morning, it was Led Zeppelin, I love it. It was like, we're we're fucking going. I love it. Let's do this. I love it. Yeah. So I love to use music as like a transitionary tool for my nervous system into de stress. But I also have this little dragon game that I play on my phone that is a very nice de stressor.

Scottie Durrett  59:11  
You know, the mental vacation, it's so good. Yeah, y'all are amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Truly. I really appreciate your time, your wisdom and all the hard work that y'all have done so that you can make it a lot easier on us. So thank you. Thank

Lisa Kirby  59:23  
you so much. This was lovely. Yeah, thank you so much, buddy.

Scottie Durrett  59:31  
All right, Mama, that's a wrap on today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. But before you dive back into the beautiful chaos of your life, remember this. You're doing better than you think. You are not alone, and you sure as hell don't have to do this on autopilot. If this episode hit home, please share it with a mom who needs to hear it, because we are in this together, and if you're feeling extra generous, please drop a review. It helps momplex reach more mamas who need this real talk until next time. Trust yourself, trust your gut and. Member, you already know what to do, and you are the perfect mama for your kiddos. PS, if your kid just asked, What hell means, my bad. See you next time. Mama love you. You.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai