Are We Even A Couple Anymore?
I get real about something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: what the heck happened to my marriage? I speak directly to moms who feel like they’re living parallel lives with their partner—amazing teammates and parents, but disconnected lovers. I share how the mental load, cognitive overload, and constant fight-or-flight nervous system state slowly push intimacy, desire, and playfulness to the bottom of the priority list. Using my own story of realizing my husband and I had slipped into “roommate” mode, I walk through how awareness—not shame—is the first step to change. I then offer five practical ways to start reigniting the spark: seeing each other again through deeper questions, ditching logistics-only conversations, rebuilding connection through touch, having brave “spicy” conversations, and creating things to look forward to together. This episode is a reminder that you’re not “just a mom”—you’re a whole woman who deserves a relationship that feels alive, loving, and deeply connected.
Here’s Scottie’s 5‑point list from the episode, ready for your show notes:
1. See each other again
Ask real questions beyond logistics:
- “What are you dreaming about lately?”
- “What do you wish we had going on in our life right now?”
- “What’s something you miss from when we first met?”
2. Ditch the logistics energy
Go on a date with a "no-kid-talk rule". Even 30–45 minutes at a local spot where you’re just two adults again—not administrators or co-CEOs of the household.
3. Touch each other a lot
Rebuild body trust and connection with casual, frequent touch:
- Hugs
- Hand-holding
- Sitting closer
- Playful brushes and booty grabs in passing
4. Have the spicy convo
Be bold and vulnerable. Send a text or start a conversation that says, “I miss you” or “I want more connection,” instead of just talking schedules and to‑dos.
5. Create something together
Make a **shared future** that’s not about the kids:
- A couples’ bucket list
- A weekend trip
- Plans for your life together after the kids leave the house
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