How to Take Your Power Back—Simply w/ Coach Kristine Gardner

Kristine Gardner  0:00  
You are entitled to this. And I know you've said this before, and I've said this before, Joy is your birthright. Happiness is your birthright, and so let's get that back into your life and into your day. So yes, we start with the morning. It always starts with wellness.

scottie  0:20  
Welcome to the momplex Podcast. I am your host. Scotty durett, my passion and purpose is to help other moms just like me rediscover their joy and step into their confidence as their kids grow up, join me as I share my own experiences, my own mistakes and aha moments as I navigate this incredible journey of motherhood while trying not to lose my identity, if you are a modern day mama who is ready to live for herself, not just for her kids, and knows that is the best possible gift you could give, then you are in the right place. This is momplex.

Scottie Durrett  0:56  
Hey, hey, welcome back to momplex. This is the podcast for every badass mama who is done living on autopilot and just ready to live with purpose and peace and power and is done waiting Today's guest is exactly what you want to hear. She is a walking exhale. Seriously, if your nervous system needs a hug, and you are just craving a simple, easy to do, life changing reset. Then this one is for you. I'm sitting down with Christine Gardner. She's a coach, a mom, and founder of the science backed method that helps women over 40 actually live their best damn lives. Her work is rooted in the powerful connection between mind, body and energy. You know, I love this. There's no fluff, there's no overwhelm, just real, sustainable tips and practices that help you come back home to yourself. In this episode, we're breaking down what it really means to ground how to create supportive routines without adding more to your plate, and why having awareness and coming back to your heart is the most rebellious and healing thing that you can do as a mama. So grab your lemon water, grab your matcha or your latte, your laundry basket or your earbuds on the school run or walk, because you're going to want to soak up every single word of this one. Let's dive in. Super excited for this conversation today, as I mentioned in the introduction, we are here with Christine Gardner. She is the founder and head of Christine Gardner wellness, and truly, what she is doing is helping women, specifically who are over 40, because we are the bad asses of the world, but she's helping women live their best lives, and she does this through real methods that are rooted in connection between your mind, body, soul and energy, and things that actually work, that are not so overwhelming, so they can fit into your busy life. And today, she's going to drop some golden nuggets for you, and it's going to be amazing. So Christine, take a minute just to introduce yourself to my audience. I live in Boulder, Colorado, but my heart is in California, and that's where we met 25 years ago. Isn't that fun to say when we were four?

Kristine Gardner  3:13  
Yeah, and living our best lives in San Francisco. So we thought since then. Now I live in Boulder, Colorado, I have three teenage boys. First one left the nest last year, so one in college, high school and middle school. So we really cover it all. I love being a mom first and foremost. I really do. I love being a mom. And at every stage, I always think this is the best stage. This is the best stage. But I really do love these teenage years and just I love connecting with with my boys at this phase. And I'm married, so I have another boy in the house, and I have a boy dog. Isn't that funny? And I actually chose the boy dog dodger. No point in bringing girls into the mix. Now, let's just keep it all testosterone heavy here, and I've been coaching for over 20 years in different capacities, all different ways, in fitness, nutrition, health, sales, business, so all different capacities, but the common thread is always motivation. I love helping women see the positive in every situation. I love helping motivate women and inspire women to live their best life and really feel good wherever they are and in what stage they are in, helping them really feel good and connected that in that mind, body and energy, like you said. So it's funny, people say, like, Are you a business coach or are you a life coach? Are you a wellness coach and like, and I always say, there's not. I don't believe in there's one or the other. It's all one. I have a lot of clients that I'm focused on working helping them expand their business, but we talk about their marriage, their relationships, their kids, their well being. It's all one or Yes, I have a full time clients that are just mom. You know, our moms full time, that's their full time job. But it doesn't matter if you have a full time job or your full time mom, it's all that we're all working on the same thing, the mindset, right? I'm feeling good in our bodies. And when we feel good in that way, then our businesses thrive, our families thrive, our life thrives. And all good things

Scottie Durrett  5:22  
happen. I love that, and thank goodness, because I do think as life continues to throw us curve balls, we can get our tunnel vision going right, and we can often forget to be in the practice of noticing all the things that are going well right, we get really hyper, fixated on the one or two things that are just really hard as we should we're human beings. That's a natural focus. So when you're talking about coming in and helping a mom, a woman, in the support that she needs at that time in her life, when you talk about reframing and helping her see things from a different perspective, like what are some of the initial ways that you help her tap into that mindset where she understands how it's playing such a role in her everyday life. The key is

Kristine Gardner  6:11  
awareness that is always where we start. I just want to go back to what you said. And yes, I think it is. It's absolutely 100% true. We're trained as human beings to always look for, wake up and think, What could go wrong today? What if this happens? Let me check to see what the phone is going to tell me how I should feel today. So allowing the outside world to dictate how we're going to show up and how we're going to feel. So when I first start working with women, with clients, it's it's always that awareness piece of, how are you thinking? What are your thoughts? How are you starting your day? Yeah, when you wake up, what is the very first thing that you think? Is it I better grab my phone. Is it I open up my eyes and automatically think, oh my gosh, I'm so tired. I can't wait for this day to end, to go back to sleep, or opening your eyes and think, oh my gosh, here we go again. Such a grind the hamster wheel, over and over again. Inject the caffeine as quickly as possible into my veins, and then maybe I can start and by the way, I was there. So I am saying this with so much love and compassion, because I did spend a period of time where it was, oh my gosh, here we go. We're on the grind again, on the hamster wheel. And it's so easy to find the other people, to find the other moms or our husbands to complain with them. Yeah, complaining is also just it's, unfortunately, so much of our norm, yeah, that we spend a lot of time complaining, looking for the negative, like you said, what's gonna go wrong? So what I love to do first is really create that awareness, and have them become aware

Scottie Durrett  7:51  
of their thoughts and just like so they

Kristine Gardner  7:53  
notice it, yeah? And then, and all of a sudden, it is this aha moment of I didn't realize that I was starting my day with such negativity, or I didn't even realize. I mean, I knew I was grabbing my phone, but I didn't think about it, because doesn't everybody else do that. I didn't realize that when I first woke up, I was already thinking or worrying. Right? As moms, we worry so much, we already are worrying like, am I going to be late? Am I going to get to school sometime? Am I going to be the last mom at drop off? My kid looks like a mess. I can't believe that he doesn't brush his hair. You know, all the things like, we're just already in those thoughts. I'm gonna make lunch and oh my gosh, my lunch sucks. Like all the other moms put their lunches together and that like their kids are healthy, and I still put a bag of chips in my lunch. Like, who am I? You know, you're awesome. You're doing what you need to do, staying in our own lane, right? So it's that awareness of our thoughts, and then once we become really aware of our thoughts, and it happens quickly, that's what's so cool, and that's where our brain is so amazing. We become aware of our thoughts quickly, and it's ooh, I didn't realize how those were driving my day and dictating my mood and my state, yeah, and then that's when the fun part starts. Of, okay, let's start to shift those thoughts, right? Let's replace those ants.

Scottie Durrett  9:11  
And I love how you're starting with your thoughts. No, sorry to interrupt, because I agree with you. I love how you're starting with your thoughts, because what you said, that habit of allowing the outside world to dictate how you feel can be very disempowering, especially for a mom who has her heart on the outside of her body, and when you're trying to live your life and help your kids live their life, they're human beings that have their own willpower, and so they're not always going to do what we Want, what we believe they should. And so we can feel so threatened and so weak and so shameful, and then we look to the outside world to tell us, Oh yes, you should feel that way, or you shouldn't feel that way. So I love that you're starting with that inner dialog, because that gives her all of her power back, and she sees immediately how her own. Own thoughts can impact how she feels, and she doesn't have to wait for certain circumstances in her external life to shift or change before she can feel better. Yeah, take your power back. I love that the power of our thoughts, and I

Kristine Gardner  10:12  
agree with you. Yeah, that's one of my my coach, when one of the things she always says to us is her sign off is, take your power back. Take your power back. And it's like, yes, and get out of your own way. Get out of your own way. And that's something I remind myself daily too, right? I'm even I've been practicing this and so have you for decades. It's like, oh yeah, stay out of my own way. There I am, getting in my thoughts again. There I am stopping myself. There I am that self sabotage that can be so easy. So it's take your power back and stay out of your own way and make it the best day.

Scottie Durrett  10:53  
Yeah, pretty simple, right? I appreciate you being honest too, yeah? But like you here, you are a seasoned coach, this is what you live for. You're waking up. You have the practices already inside of you. They're probably in your muscle memory, and you still have those moments where you have to say, Hi, I'm noticing the thoughts. So I think there's just some forgiveness that we can allow ourselves. We're not asking you to be toxic, positive or not be human. It's that awareness, like bringing yourself into your own day. How do I feel? Do I like the way that I feel? You know, what can I do in this moment to help myself in the best way possible? And again, it's like in these many moments when you're feeling like your day is out of control, you're like, hold on. I what you just said. How can I take my power back? How can I look after myself like What is one thing I can do? And I know that you had talked about this with you, and I had a great conversation. Selfishly, we got to talk to the two of us before this podcast happened, and you were talking about this one habit that I've actually adopted since you shared it with me. And was that drinking your glass of water first thing and saying today is going to be a good day. And as somebody who's been practicing that since you shared it with me, I have to tell you that I can feel a shift of like energy in my body as I'm walking from my bedroom to the kitchen saying, Today is going to be a good day. I don't know it's something about it's it doesn't mean that I'm look I don't look I don't look different. My kids don't notice anything different, but I feel so different. It's that tiny little you decided, yeah, yeah. And what are some other small shifts that you have found make such a difference in your life and your clients

Kristine Gardner  12:31  
lives? Well, I do think that's such a great one. Scotty is just that simple. Before you go to bed at night, it's part of your actually, it's part of your evening routine and our evening routine, right? It's just as important as our morning routine. It sets our evening sets up our morning. So set a big glass of water next to your bed, a liter of water, right? When you wake up in the morning, you're dehydrated. 100% like we're all dehydrated in the morning you just slept. Your mouth's probably open, so not to create that visual, but you know, for eight hours we're dehydrated when we got so high, and it hydration is actually more important than nutrition, but I know we're not getting into that whole conversation. So drink your liter of water, ladies, drink your liter of water. And then I do. I love that simple affirmation, and when I work with them, and I always love to find an affirmation that lands specifically for them. However, I find that morning mantra of today is going to be a great day, a very simple, reassuring mantra to say first thing in the morning. And it really does land for everybody, because you decide that's the first thing you're rewiring your brain today is going to be a great day. And then what happens? You open up your shades. Sometimes you just have, like, two minutes before some little comes running into your room. But you have two minutes to open up your shades, open up your window, your blinds, get the morning sunshine on your face. Game Changer. Game Changer. Get that morning sunlight. Take your glasses off. I always laugh my husband's like my toughest client, so sometimes I'll go into his office and literally drag him outside like and take your glasses off. Take your glasses off and stare at the sun, but just get that morning sunshine on your face, and you're going to feel a shift right away, if you can, and it's available to you. Take your shoes off, stand in the grass. You know, as it starts to get a little bit cooler, maybe you can't do that as long, but get that fresh air, sunshine, you're going to feel, feel so good. And then another one I practice is gratitude. Gratitude, gratitude. Again, it is, that is, it's free medicine. Gratitude is free medicine. Love that, yeah, and it's a reminder of, I am so grateful for where I am, and I'm excited about this day. Today is going to be a great day. Three things, two things, one thing. That you are grateful for without any judgment, and just let it land. And I always say, let it feel into it, let it just, let it get into your cells, the gratitude, the water, the morning sunshine. You know, a lot of us don't have time for journaling that doesn't, you know, maybe on like the perfect day, but sometimes just grabbing an affirmation card. A lot of women, I have to write a little morning mantra, affirmation, affirmation, something they're working on, or even just a word, and putting a little sticky note on their bathroom mirror, just a word, like, patience. You know, if you're really working on patience, it's that reminder, like, you've got this patience. Love that even just a word, yeah. You know, the first thing we wake up in the morning, we look in the mirror and we think, oh my gosh, I look so tired. No, no, no, no. The first thing you've opened, open your eyes, you look in the mirror. That first thing maybe you need that post it to remind you, is you're about us, right? About us. You look fantastic. You are amazing. Your heart is gold. Whatever it is, again, you're rewiring your brain, setting yourself up for

Scottie Durrett  16:06  
good. I love the free medicine. Everything you just said, I'm gonna, we're gonna review it again. It's, you know, you've got the water, which you said, is more important than nutrition, the positive, you know, the positive thinking, the sunlight, the vitamin D, the gratitude, the grounding, all of it's free. So I argue with any mom who's listening, who says, I have no time for me. I'll have to wait till my kids are older. I call bullshit. I call freaking bullshit, because I lived that way for a dozen years, and it got me nowhere. And I have to say it didn't make me a better mom. It did not. I was not showing up better for my kids. Everything you just said could be done in five minutes or less, two minutes, two minutes. Thank you for sharing that, because I do think there's this belief system that moms live, if I take time for me, that I'm taking time away from my kids, then I'm a shitty mom. And you know, they're they're not going to get fives on their AP exams, and they're going to marry shitheads, and world is over, right? And so and as much as I love us as moms, I think we give ourselves way too much credit that we think we have that much of an impact on our kids, right? I think that simply, like, similar to what you said, the free medicine, honestly, what our kids need from us is that we're present and that we want to be around them. Yeah, right. It's it like we really enjoy being around them. But how can we do that, we have to take care of ourselves first. It's impossible to be our best selves for our kids if we are not taking care of ourselves. And it doesn't mean like you need to go to a spa day every day, like you were saying, right? It doesn't mean that, yes, it's the pedicures or, you know, lunches out every single day. It is just those. It's those micro moments where you're filling yourself up with not even that toxic positivity, but just the gratitude, the water, the sunshine. These are all free things too. By the way, these are all free things, feet on the grass. The other thing I think you were saying, and that I really relate to when my kids were younger, and I was in this I remember saying, Oh, well, when my kids get to this age, it'll be so much easier. Do I remember that when my kids finally get to this stage, then I can be more relaxed, then I can be more present, and I remember different phases thinking that, and I just think back to like, no, no. That's not the way that we're supposed to be living or thinking, yeah, you're like, oh, when they're all out of diapers, then life will be so much better. Like, then we're just wishing them away. Oh, when they're all out of the house, then my life will be ready to start like, no, no way. But it could that can also be a habit that you form those kinds of thoughts, right? So over and over again, you're like, well, when they're all in elementary school, then it will be so much easier. Then I'll get sleep when they're all in high school. Then my husband and I can focus on our relationship, then things will be better. But then you're just in the habit of waiting right and to your taking your whole life away, right? And there's no shame in that, because I live that way too. But going back to what you said, it's about awareness, right? Like, how are you thinking about your life. How are you talking to yourself throughout your life? Nobody else can hear your thoughts, but those are the most powerful words that are going to come across your eyesight today. So all these incredible tips you just shared, I mean, that's two minutes before she's even gotten her, you know, gotten out of her pajamas, right? And that can completely shift the day. So when a mom, a woman, comes to you and is coming to you for something specific, and I know we talked about, you know, how you do one thing, basically, is how you do everything right? If we're show if we're not taking care of ourselves in our physical life, it's going to ripple into our emotional life. It's going to ripple into our business. Eventually, it will catch up to us. Talk to me about how you do help that ambitious. I know I'm meant for more, but no matter what I do, I still can't feel the way I want to feel. I'm eating healthy, I'm getting the sleep. I think I'm doing all the healthy things. I think I'm a healthy person, but I still feel like shit. I still don't feel the way that I want. Feel take me through your your method, because I know that you have a specific method that you like to walk your clients through. How are you helping us? How are you helping us? Ambitious moms, when we just feel like we've tried everything and nothing is working,

Kristine Gardner  20:15  
you've tried it all and nothing is working, or what, or what a lot of it is, is like, I should be happier, I should be feeling more joy. And there's this guilt that's attached to it, and shame that's attached to it, like, I live in this amazing house. I have this, you know, I have healthy kids, I have this job, whatever it is, but there's this, there's this lack of joy that is creeping in. And so that's really a place where that we dive into is this lack of joy looking forward to, like, the bigger things, you know, like, like, like, we were just talking about where I'm going on a trip to Hawaii, or I'm looking forward to these big things, but what they're missing out on are, is the day to day joy, the moment to moment joy. And it's just almost like I had one client say she's like, it's just like it was the joy was just sucked out. And I don't know why, I don't know when, but the joy was sucked out of my life, and I want it back. I want to feel happier. I want to feel more joy filled, and you are entitled to this. And I know you've said this before, and I've said this before, Joy is your birthright. Happiness is your birthright. And so let's get that back into your life and into your day. So yes, we start with the morning. It always starts with wellness. It always starts like, how are you feeling your body? What are you doing? We just went through the morning. Words, morning routine, but then it's also okay. How are you taking micro pauses in your day? Are you going to your office and just sitting in your seat all day long and never getting up until it's time to leave and then go pick up and then again, you feel like you're on the hamster wheel and on the grind. So you're never looking forward to, oh, I'm going to stop at Trader Joe's on the way home and pick up flowers like that. Sounds silly, but it's not. It's I'm gonna stop at Trader Joe's on the way home and get I know that, you know, their Peonies are in bloom, or their hydrant, or whatever it is, and pick up some flowers and put those next to my bedside. And I'm gonna have joy in putting together a little bouquet. Or, Oh, I forgot that. Hop. I forgot that I love to sew. I forgot that I love like, I want to learn how to play mahjong. You know, Mahjong so big right now, and women are like, Oh, I don't have time for that. I can't do that. The kids this, the kids that. But that's fun. That's creativity that's bringing like, sparks of joy back into your life. So it's finding those, what are some small things that you can add back into your life that do bring you joy, that do bring you happiness, and specific to each person and where they are in their time, it can be those things, like the grandma hobbies that we call them right now, tapping back into those grandma hobbies I have, like some women that are just so programmed. They're working full time, they have young kids at home, they don't even think that they have the time or entitled to getting up from their desk at lunch to go and walk around the building at lunchtime. No, yes, you are 100% you are, and let's get you there. Yeah, let's and even just that small shift of like, I get up at lunch now, I go down, I get a healthy salad. I take the stairs. I do a walk around my building at lunch, I think about I text, you know, two friends that I'm so grateful for them. I love them. Whatever it is, some kind of gratitude text, and I go back up, and I feel so much better, right? It's like carving in these moments of self care, because that's what they are. Again, just like we said before, self care doesn't mean that you take yourself to go get a massage and a pedicure every day. Self care is tapping into what your heart needs, what your nervous system needs, feeling balanced in your feeling regulated in your body, in your mind, is the best self care for yourself, far better than any pedicure, yeah, like that goes out the window. I

Scottie Durrett  24:10  
want to talk about regulating the nervous system and really give her some really easy to understand, because I talk about it all the time too, and I think a lot of times we're brushing stuff off as mom life as normal. This is it's normal for me to wake up with a headache every day, or to have a crick in my neck, or, you know, to have gas or indigestion, or I can't lose these five pounds, right? Like, we kind of call

Kristine Gardner  24:34  
yourself a hot mess. That was a big one to call yourself a hot No, you're not

Scottie Durrett  24:38  
a hot mess. You're not a hot mess. What does it mean to regulate your nervous system, and what are some simple ways that she could do that? I think

Kristine Gardner  24:45  
it's like a little bit of a buzz right now just being able to like, Oh, my nervous system is dysregulated, and I'm feeling so scattered and chaotic, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. And that is actually. Mesley, all of those things, the burnout, the overwhelm, feeling scattered, having a million things going on, but like, you can't even focus to get one thing done that is actually, that is when your inner system is not it's not functioning correctly. That's when your adrenal glands are going to be shot. That is when you're lacking minerals, and that is when you're lacking vitamins. Your nervous system, literally, your nerves, and your nerves are not functioning correctly. So you're feeling your cortisol levels are rising. You're just not feeling well, yeah, you're feeling burnout, you're feeling the overwhelm, all those feelings, and you think to yourself, well, it's maybe this is just normal, right? That's what a lot of moms think. This is just normal. This is how I'm supposed to feel. I'm supposed to feel tired. I'm supposed to feel like a hot mess, when, in fact, you're not like, yeah, maybe, sure, some days you're tired. You didn't have full amount of sleep. Are you going to have stress again? 100% we're all going to have stress again. Yeah. But when you're able to regulate your system, okay, when you're able to regulate your system, you're then able to hold the stress. You're able to hold the container differently, and that's really what it is. So it's not saying like you're never going to have stress again, that you're never going to feel tired again, but it's being able to function and to manage yourself and to manage yourself with young kids, because you're doing the things to take care of yourself and to regulate those internal systems going on, and that's not done by those external activities. It's not done by shopping. It's not done by like, Amazon Prime. It's not, that's not what's helping it. Sorry.

Scottie Durrett  26:50  
It's not happening with the Doom scroll. And, yeah, it's, well, I mean, you can

Kristine Gardner  26:53  
walk away from a doom scroll and think to yourself, do I feel actually, any more joy? No, I don't. That's like, that is a numbing out. So one of the ways that is is not talked about enough, and I think it's, it's it's starting to be talked about more, which is really, which is such a positive. But one of the best ways, the best way, the top way, to actually, to feel at home in your body and to feel safe in your body and in your mind, is through your thoughts, okay, and through your self talk, right? So if you're doing all the things you're journaling, you have your feet in the grass. You're saying today is going to be a great day, but really, in the back of your mind, you're still telling yourself like you're a hot mess, you're always late. The house is looks like chaos. Your kids are rude, like all these things that you're saying to yourself, you're doing the opposite of what you really want to be doing. Does that make sense? Like you're not, it's you're not helping yourself out.

Scottie Durrett  27:49  
Yeah, so you're almost negating all the work, right? It's just like you're canceling out the work.

Kristine Gardner  27:55  
Yeah, exactly right. So being able to get in control of our thoughts is the number one way becoming your best friend. And I'm not saying it happens overnight, but becoming your best friend is the best way to feel safe and feel feel safe in your body, and that is a regulated system. You feel safe and trusted in your body and in your thoughts. And again, it's, you know, I say to my clients a lot of the time too. Or, you know, I say this, I just, I like this comparison. I think it makes sense people go to a trainer to train their muscles. Like, that's like norm in our society, where, well, I need to go to a trainer, because that's gonna help me with consistency, and that's gonna help get my muscle tone. And I should be going to a trainer. I really believe, actually, that see having someone, whether it's a coach, whether it's your best friend, whether it's your therapist, or all of them, everything, it's that to have that consistency and to have that trainer that's helping you rewire the system in your brain, just like a trainer is rewiring your muscles 100% Right, and rewiring and helping you with your body composition, a coach is helping you with the most important muscle, your brain, to rewire those thoughts, to regulate your nervous system, to help you regulate those cortisol levels, so then you can lose the weight, so then you can sleep. You can function on the regular. It's it's not found on the outside. It's found on the inside. I mean, yeah, it takes a little bit of time, and it takes some consistency, but that's why you have momplex,

Scottie Durrett  29:29  
and that's why we have people like you. And what's more important than how you are showing up in your life, right? If you think, and I tell a lot of my mom's too, look, if it's if you're not fully ready to say, I'm showing up for me, then let's start with, I'm showing up for my kids. And how do I want? How do I want to show up for my kids? I want to show up at my best. Great. Let's start there, right? So for sure, you know, there's so much that you've said, I love how you reframed it. It's just, it's not about it. You know, the affirmations and. You know, regulating our nervous system. Yes, it's all the buzz, but I loved how you said, Look, this is not about removing unhappiness, sadness, stressful days, exhaustion. It's about how can you build up a stronger container to handle whatever life is dishing out, so that at the end of the day when your head hits the pillow, you can still say today was hard, but I loved how I got through it, and I you know, and it's like, there's a way for us to still manage life, but in a way that we're not depleting. You know, it's a lot of times I'm hearing from moms, like, I feel so disconnected. No matter how much I sleep, no matter what I do, I still can't wake up and feel good. And it's like, Great, let's get some awareness around how you're talking to yourself, because it could be that which is amazing, because that's it's usually what it is. I'm fascinated with our brain. I think it's phenomenal. I love our brain. I love our body. I'm 48 and a half, and I'm still rewiring my brain. How cool is that? How cool we can it's like whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks was fucking lying.

Kristine Gardner  31:04  
Yeah, no, it's so true. I'll be honest with you, a lot of the moms that I work with are all different, I mean, all different ages. But right now I have more than a handful of women that are in their 60s, 60s, late 60s, so in rewiring their brain, right? I mean, they're the kids are all out of the house now. They're going into a different phase. They're still not like but just awareness around their thoughts and how they want to shift their thoughts and and it's working. That's what's so cool, is that this stuff, I mean, I always like to say, like this stuff works. This does work best. This is the best work it is. I love it. I like, Get up, get excited every single day to wake up and think, Okay, I'm sure you think the same thing too. But it's like, you know, whose life can we change today just by shift to helping them shift their thoughts and

Scottie Durrett  31:53  
getting their power back and choosing that they get to, they get to build the joy in. They don't have to wait for somebody else to give them permission, or they don't have to later. And I love that. I love that you have clients that are in their late 60s, because I'm going to be that person too. You know, it's I, I'm always going to want to, we will. Yeah, we will.

Kristine Gardner  32:11  
It's powerful too, I think, to just to know that you have the power to decide how you want your day to look and feel. And like we were saying, it doesn't happen, sometimes it doesn't happen overnight, and again, there's no guilt and shame in that, because the rewiring process sometimes takes some work. It's not just you wake up one day and think today is going to be a great day, and then every other day after that is sunshine and unicorns. It does take some of the process, like some of the work I love. I worked with my coach, and we, we talked a lot about no complaining, because complaining is a habit too. It can be a really easy trap to fall into complaining and gossiping, but you take these little these pieces, one at a time, and you master them one at a time, no complaining, that is a big one, if you just think about how much you complain in a day sometimes, right? That can, like, take over your life, right?

Scottie Durrett  33:07  
I was in a phase where I was complaining and bitching and moaning and gossiping for a good chunk, chunk of my life, and I would talk shit about my kids. I would talk crap about this mom and that person, and so judgmental, and I felt awful. I felt awful, and I've had to shift, because then you become aware of it totally I've had to shift my environment. I will say, like, I've shifted some people that I follow on Instagram. I shift some people that I'm choosing to hang out with socially, and that's hard, but you do. It's like a decluttering. If you're choosing that you want to. It's, it's, you know, it's like, if you're choosing, just said that I want to, and I want to bring the joy back. I want to make some of these shifts. I do want to feel better. I do want to rewire my brain. It's, it's like, removing the Cheez Its from the cabinet. Like, if you want to eat less cheez, it stop buying the Cheez Its just until you feel like you get a handle on

Kristine Gardner  34:02  
Yeah. And that is the hard part, because you do have to do, sometimes you you do have to do an audit, yeah. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Yeah? And that's that's not always easy either. When you're going through different chapters in your life and you realize, like, I don't know if this friend is like, is going to we're not going down the same path. I mean, that's a topic for a whole nother discussion, right? Doing a friend audit, yeah, but who you, who you surround yourself with? It, it matters. What you're listening to, who's in your feed, all of that. But then once again, and it all goes back to awareness. Once you have that awareness and you realize, like, oh, okay, wait, this actually is the life that I want to be living. You kind of naturally start to eliminate the toxicity that it's around you, because, again, you decide it's not how I want to live. It's kind of, I mean, another topic for discussion, you know, like wine and alcohol like that doesn't serve either. And so you have to do these audits of what keeps me. In my flow, what keeps my energy going?

Scottie Durrett  35:02  
I love that, but it's an audit, like, I love that. It's, oh yeah, yeah, the awareness of how you feel, you know. And I think that's a big when I first was getting started, before I even understood the power of my own thoughts, before I even got involved in all this work, I just started to notice how I was feeling. You know, how all nutritionists will say, Well, how did you feel after the meal, right? Like, how did you feel after you ate that sandwich or you ate the broccoli or the dairy? I started to do the same thing throughout my day. Okay, well, how did I feel when I stayed up all night long watching Netflix? You know, I didn't like the way I felt. How did I feel after drinking tequila? How did I feel after being at that person's dinner party? How did I feel after that workout or not working, you know? And I just started to take it, all this feedback, and I was like, wait that I like the way that felt. I like the way that I felt after hanging out with that group of moms. I like how I felt when I took that nap, you know. And it's just starting, like you said, it's just awareness. It's just gathering awareness.

Kristine Gardner  35:59  
Yes, gathering awareness, gathering the pieces. I love it. So powerful. Yeah, so that would be a piece of homework, I would say, from, from our little, our little chat, right? Is it is just turning up the awareness piece, just noticing, right? Start noticing your thoughts and just those small shifts, like starting your day. What are two how? What are two things you can do today to start your morning in a more positive space? I love that water. Yeah, today is going to be a great day. Listen to momplex. Look at me putting your plugs in.

Scottie Durrett  36:36  
Just kidding. I love it. I mean, love that because the way you're, the way you're shaping it. It's not so overwhelming for her when she's sitting here listening and she has no energy and she's just feeling depleted and disconnected. Everything you just shared is it's just, it's like little bite size, like, what's 1% you know, one little thing you can do to yourself. And I think that feels, yes, less overwhelming for that incredibly overwhelmed, tapped, burned out mom, turned out woman who's ambitious, who has big dreams, right, and doesn't want to throw the towel as we should, yes, as we should. Yeah, we

Kristine Gardner  37:13  
are all entitled to our dreams, 100% 110,000% and that's something that's, again, whole nother podcast, but it is allowing yourself to dream bigger, because that's something. And as mom, you know, when we get into the day to day, and I've been there too, like all of us, I say I've been there. I've been there, we forget what it's like to dream, and we forget what it's like to say, like, oh, yeah, I I really want to do this. I really want to take that trip. I really want to start that business. I really want to, whatever it is like, become the best, best selling author. I really want to start a podcast. We're all entitled to those into the to those dream you're allowed to dream, put it out there, into the universe. That's something we forget as moms. It's like, oh no, but I'm, you know, I shouldn't do that. I should like you were saying in the beginning, our dreams, I'll just table all of that for later, right, right? I love that dreaming and manifesting. I mean, that's, that's the magic is being being grateful where you are right now. So I always say you can have both gratitude for where you are and excited for where you're going. So we're grateful in this moment, and I'm still excited to, you know, write my own book one day, or write my own journal one day, or whatever it is, start my own podcast one day. Who knows?

Scottie Durrett  38:32  
I love it. Our dreams are meant for us. I think that's incredible. Yes, if you can dream it, it's meant for you 100% so how can anybody who's listening? How can they find you if they want to work with you or learn more about you? What are some Where's where can they go

Kristine Gardner  38:45  
hang out on Instagram? That's where I found Scotty again. So good on the good old gram, kg Cali glow. My initials are kg and I'm from California, so when I started Instagram 10 years ago, kg Cali glow, that's where that came from. I do groups, and then I do one on one coaching. And then I also do retreats. So I have a Santa Fe retreat coming up in October, and then I have an Ojai retreat, actually in 2026 that's sold out. And then we're planning an international trip in 2027 to potentially Panama, I love it.

Scottie Durrett  39:22  
That's amazing, incredible, incredible, and so and then they can connect with you on Instagram and just learn more about all your offerings. Okay, great, yeah, come hang out. I'll put all that in the show notes. I know you and you do. You really do show up so genuinely and authentically in your stories, and you can feel that you are just you want to support, you want to help, and you're giving your audience options. And I think that's really powerful, that it's not about saying this is the only way to do it. You're just offering options, which is then allowing them to tap into their own intuition to say what feels right to me. Let me go try it as are you studying? Such a same with you way? Yeah. So I go give Christine a follow, because it is. It's always nice to hear from more than one person, because everybody's energy and vibration is different. And like how you're saying things might be exactly how she needs to hear it and what she needs to know today, and you do such a beautiful job. So, oh, thank you so and if you're in the Colorado area, reach out, because you do in person, walk, hike.

Kristine Gardner  40:25  
I do, I know. I'm just trying to plan right now a river plunge, okay, just to go and a day to if you can't do like a full retreat. I'm sort of envisioning this right now. I'm dreaming myself of doing like manifesting circles. Love it, and just depending on the seasons, like a river plunge or a snow hike or something. But I just left. I was a fitness instructor for 20 years, and I do miss the in person, so I'm just trying to kind of dream a little bit myself into that of how I want that to look. Yeah, we're always dreaming, right? We got it.

Scottie Durrett  41:04  
Well, I really appreciate it, you know, you I think a lot of times, my moms can get overwhelmed by all the things they want to do to help themselves feel better. And I'm just so thankful that you offered them a nice, bite sized way to get started, right? Just noticing your own thoughts and that morning routine, and just like if you kick off your day with water, that positive affirmation, a little bit of sunlight, you're not going to believe how good you feel. And that is such an immediate return on their investment. So I really appreciate all of your your tips and support. You're amazing. So thank you, and sit

Kristine Gardner  41:35  
down to eat. That's, again, what they're like, what

Scottie Durrett  41:41  
that's a whole nother episode. We can't overwhelm them.

Kristine Gardner  41:45  
Episode, sit when you eat. So good. I love it. It's only because we've lived it all. You know what? I mean? That's what's so awesome. It's like, it's only because we've been there, because we've been there. I spent 10 years. I don't think I ever sat down to eat.

Scottie Durrett  42:05  
Hey, Mama, thank you so much for listening before you dive back into the beautiful chaos of your life, please take this with you. You're doing better than you think. You are not alone, and you do not have to do this on autopilot. If this episode helped you in any way, please share it with a mom who needs to hear it, because we grow faster when we do it together. And if you have a second, leaving a five star review helps momplex reach more mamas who need this kind of real talk and support. If you want more support and guidance or just someone in your corner, be sure to visit scottyderette.com to learn more. Get in touch with me or dive deeper into this work until next time. Mom, Trust yourself, trust your gut. You already know what to do, and you are exactly the mama your kids need. I love you. I'll see you next time you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai