September Is a Mom’s Hunger Games — Here’s How to Win

scottie  0:00  
Scott, welcome to the momplex Podcast. I am your host. Scotty durrette, my passion and purpose is to help other moms just like me rediscover their joy and step into their confidence as their kids grow up. Join me as I share my own experiences, my own mistakes and aha moments as I navigate this incredible journey of motherhood while trying not to lose my identity. If you are a modern day mama who is ready to live for herself, not just for her kids, and knows that is the best possible gift you could give, then you are in the right place. This is momplex.

Scottie Durrett  0:42  
You Hey, my beautiful mama, welcome back to the podcast. I'm actually really excited to record this one for you. This came in as a request. I got an email from a loyal listener who just said, Hey, this is something I would really appreciate for you to cover, and I invite you to do the same thing. I want this content to be helpful to you, so I invite you to please send me an email, drop in my DMs, text me if you have my cell phone number, and let me know if there is something that you are going through that you would like support on, or maybe there's something that you just want to know that you are not alone. Okay, I love creating content for you. It's this is my happy place. So I invite you. We're talking about September. I know we just got out of August. Barely survived that, and now we are staring down September, which I call the mom's Hunger Games, truly and I want you to win, September is literally like a battleground. School is back. Sports are back, permission slips, birthday parties, slumber parties, forgotten water bottles, lost lunch boxes and your job your life still expects you to show up like a functioning adult who doesn't really need any time to adjust to the new routine. That's cute, and you are high achieving, Mama. I know you've got goals on top of that, goals for yourself. Maybe you want to get your body back, maybe you want to get your energy back, maybe you want to finally figure out how to make it through the season without feeling like shit or without feeling overwhelmed and wiped out, and I know you want to get some of this done before the end of the year, right. Here's the hard truth, you are not required or supposed to white knuckle your way through September. That's how burnout wins. That lot that saying that goes on repeat after repeat. If I can just make it through this month, then I will be okay. I don't want you to just get through the month. I want you to crush the month. I want you to win these Hunger Games. So today I'm going to be giving you five simple moves that actually work so that you can stop just saying, Yes, this is my busy season. Yes, I just have to get through this. It'll just be a busiest shit month, and somehow we're gonna make it through. I don't want that to be I want you to live it, love it and feel amazing. Wouldn't you rather that? Isn't that what you want? I giggle and I smile. I love all the back to school photos. And you know, some of them are perfect, those perfect back to school. Pictures on the gram, matching outfits, hair is brushed, chalkboard signs that the mom that you guys have done it every single year, right in front of your beautiful doorstep. The kids are smiling. They're not resisting. Everything looks great. It just looks like you could turn that into a postcard and send it out to the grandparents, and you would literally make their year. That's not a bad idea. This could be a good new business model. Honestly, mine. Sure they looked great. Well, not really, but I actually wasn't with all my kids. What you didn't see was me feeling so freaking guilty because I was across the country dropping my daughter off at college for the very first time, while my boys were starting school back home without me, I was torn in two, and on top of that, I was in really full on ultra busy mode. Our summer was incredibly jam packed. I bet yours was too. And while I was dropping my daughter off at school, I'm also answering emails in the college dorm parking lot. I'm recording podcasts sitting in the hotel closets. I'm juggling baseball camps, ordering school supplies on Amazon. I don't even want to know how much money I gave to Jeff Bezos in August. Let's just be thankful that we made it through and make some adjustments going forward, but running on fumes, running on caffeine, a lot of Diet Coke. My adrenals at the end of August were like, fuck you. And then waking up each day feeling totally spent, but then just pushing through day after day, day after day. And I know I wasn't the only one, because I was having conversations with clients. I was having conversations with friends. Same thing. Just gotta push through, just gotta power through, just gotta get through, and then it'll be okay. But we all know that that never works out, because the next month is just as busy, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is not sustainable. We don't need another color coded planner. We don't need another hour in the day. We need a reset, real tools that actually work for us, that actually fit into your busy life, that keep you from that mindset that you just have to white knuckle your way through. I know this is what you want, right? This is why this matters. Your nervous system is participating in this schedule right along with you. It's not just your brain, it's not just you. You've got a heart, a body, a soul, a nervous system. Everything inside of you is working on this with you. Your nervous system does not know the difference between being chased by a saber toothed Tiger, and you trying to juggle getting kids back to school and school drop offs before 8am stress in your body is just stress when you live in the Go, go, go mode, rushing from thing to thing, whispering to yourself, if I can just get through this day, this week, this month, this season, your body flips into survival mode. And survival mode, it's like your body is calling a code red. All the lights are turned on the switchboard, all your blood, your energy, are being rerouted to the extremities and your heart, the areas of your body that need to fight to the death like you're literally preparing to fight that saber tooth tiger. So that means there's less energy being pulled away from digestion, digestion of food, digestion of life. There's no way your body can heal, focus, problem solve. Oh, and yes, patience is basically out the window, right? So what happens? Your body fries, your brain fogs, and then you start snapping at your kids over things that you've never snapped at your kids over before, or your reaction goes from zero to 100 like that. And you hear yourself yelling. You hear yourself react, and you're like, wait a second, I sound like my mom, I don't sound like me. What is going on sometimes? Or it goes into the opposite where you actually start to go into such a fond response, you start to forget why you walked into a room. You start to ignore the things that you really want to do, and you just have this like, blah. You're basically a blob, moving and rolling from thing to thing, but without any engagement, any presence, any passion, right? And then you crash at night, probably with the help of melatonin and wine, only to wake up and do it all over again. And I'm calling this out because I do want to bring awareness. I always want to make sure that you have information from this podcast so you can walk away and give yourself the best choice. It's all about having agency over your life. It's all about taking radical responsibility the best and first way you can do that is just being honest with yourself. What does your day look like? What does your day feel like? What do you want it to look like? What do you want it to feel like? That, to me, is so important for you to spend some time really paying attention to what it looks like, reality versus wish, reality versus expectations. Because when we're white knuckling our way through life, and we're constantly pushing through and like convincing ourselves to push through, not listening to our bodies. We're cooking our nervous system. Then those adrenals are working overtime, and they're stuck in this like never ending emergency drill. It affects, I won't go into the science of it, but it will start to affect the physiological systems in your body, the functioning biologically in your body. So it's like, if you're really into what's going on in the health world right now, it's like your mitochondria are not going to be functioning as well. You can't see that on the outside, but you can do a lot of tests to find out. Wait, my body is not functioning at its best, and that starts with how we are living our everyday life, how we are living are September. But the good news is when you reset, you don't just calm yourself inside and out. You actually calm the whole house, because your energy sets the tone, and you start to create more calm. You don't just create chaos. And that feels really good for everybody. I want, more than anything, for you, to take a deep breath right now with me

Scottie Durrett  9:41  
and realize that you don't have to live like this all the time. You do not have to white knuckle your way through every day. You don't have to push through. You don't have to hustle all the time. You don't have to feel like crap. You don't have to live your day like everything is a never ending emergency. One thing that I don't believe that a lot of us were taught is that. We live in chronic stress, our body isn't just tired, it's inflamed. Thankfully, we are really getting great information. Now I'm going to share one of my favorite podcasts in the show notes for you to check it out, which gives you just a ton of science backed information to help you understand the relationship of your own mindset with your own biological and physiological health. Every single time your body thinks it's fighting off a threat, it pumps out stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, and when those chemicals never shut off, they start to damage your body from the inside out. And so this is why you might be dealing with constant headaches or migraines, or maybe headaches like you've never experienced before. You could be experiencing digestive issues like bloating, IBS, stomach pain, hormonal chaos, which is what I'm going through right now, fatigue, you can't shake, no matter how much sleep you get or how much caffeine you drink. In fact, I'm learning right now that sometimes coffee and caffeine is actually working against you when you're trying to really heal yourself from the inside out. Anxiety is constantly. Is your constant companion. You are blowing your lid over things that you've never done before. You're having sleep problems, even scarier stuff like high blood pressure, autoimmune flare ups, thyroid issues, liver issues. I just want to really hit home that your mindset affects what actions you take, your actions then create your results, and your results have a direct impact on the health of your physical body. We don't need a Total Recall, right? I just want you to notice all of this at first, because over time, when we do continue with the hustle, hustle, go, go, go, it does chip away at our health, and it starts to suck the joy and the energy away from us. But it all is reversible. It's all addressable. You can lower your stress, you can calm your body, you can get your energy back, your patience, you can literally start to live in like a preventative versus a reactive way of life. But it doesn't require a total overhaul, which is incredible. You don't need to quit your job. You don't need to send your kids. Need to send your kids to boarding school. You don't need to run off to Bali before you feel better. You just need some simple, powerful moves that tell your body you're safe. We're okay, we can rest now. You can turn off fight or flight, and when you do that, everything shifts your energy, your mood, even the way your kids act around you, the quality of your sleep, how you show up, and your results. So here are your five sanity moves. Write them down, save them to your phone. Tattoo them on your brain if you need to. Number one, I'm not gaslighting you, but lower the bar. September is not the only month that you need to be present this year, no one is watching you or judging you. I promise you don't need to get everything done every single day, all the time. And if somebody is judging you, they can go fuck themselves. Okay? It's like, let's just give ourselves a break. What do we have the bandwidth for? Let's start there. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we need to do something. I understand you want to cook a four course gourmet meal every night for dinner. Sometimes it's impossible. When you're just learning how to get your kids back into the homework mode. You're learning where the new basketball practice is, and you're just getting your body back up to in in school, routine, stamina, it's okay for you to give yourself a break there. Number two, the 15 second reset. I mean, if you can't give me 15 seconds, give me five. When you hear Mom, where's my water bottle, or your kids starting to have a meltdown in the backseat of the car, I want you to just before you react. I just want you to take a second pause, inhale and exhale and then then move forward. That is nervous system reset in the moment that is allowing you to turn off fight or flight before you respond. Number three, say one brave No, please. Your schedule doesn't need more heroics. You're not proving anything to anybody. You are fucking amazing right now, just the way you are, even if you don't do anything today. So say no to one thing this week that drains you. One no might buy you back so many hours of sanity, and it's going to plug up an energy leak that will benefit you later on in the week. Not sure how to do this. Look at your to do list right now. Circle the three things that really excite you. Then cross one off the list that is not circle number four. Borrow your calm. Your kids mirror your vibe. If you are frantic, they will be frantic, and that just sucks the energy out of everybody. Take one grounding breath. Step outside for two minutes, or even just pause before responding. That calm, they will match it. They will follow it. If you need help with this, grab my free nervous system. Reset in the show notes. It is literally seven incredible tips that you can start practicing now, and you will love the way they make you feel. Number five, anchor in the joy schedule one, non negotiable joy for you this month you. A hot tea on the porch, grab your favorite book, listen to a podcast and go for a walk, protect it like it's a meeting with a CEO, because it is and Mama that CEO, remember you are the boss of your life. I love you so much. I really am sharing these tips with you because I believe they will change your life. And if you try them, there's a shot, even in the middle of September, when this episode drops, that you will be able to reclaim your energy and feel amazing, and that's going to give you the momentum and the energy to take care of another busy month. Every single month, there is going to be someone or something who needs you. We want to show up at our best. So how can we take care of ourselves today, in the moment, to help us preserve our precious energy, to help us turn off fight or flight and heal our nervous system. You don't have to white knuckle September. You can live this month when you stop running on survival mode. Your whole house shifts. You stop being the chaos driver. You become this like calm energy, and everybody's gonna love it. You are going to feel it envelop your house. It's like a cozy blanket on the sofa, and that's how you get your life back. Just focusing on your kids isn't the best mommy. Okay, you gotta focus on yourself too. So here's your mantra for the month, I move at the pace of peace. I move at my pace. Share this with a mom friend who's drowning in car pools and chaos, please, because none of us are meant to do this alone. Let me know which tip you like the best. Send me a DM. Let me know. I would love to hear how you're doing. If you feel stuck in any capacity. I am here for you. I would love to help you. I am living this life with you. I just want you to know I am not an expert in anything except I just have the ability to pause. And that's really shifted my life. And if you can try to pause this month, give yourself some moments to breathe. Give yourself some moments to build in some joy, to say no, to literally lead with calm. You are going to love the way you feel. It will become your new dopamine hit, and that's incredible, because it's coming from you. If you're ready to go deeper and have more nuanced support that you would like to have in your life, I want to let you know that i Ha You have several spots open for one on one. Support with me, and I would love to support you. I don't want you to wait one more second, because you are not broken. You are a kick ass. You're just burned out, and you don't have to white knuckle your way through motherhood, not this September, not today, not ever. I love you. Hey Mama, thank you so much for listening before you dive back into the beautiful chaos of your life, please take this with you. You're doing better than you think. You are not alone, and you do not have to do this on autopilot. If this episode helped you in any way, please share with a mom who needs to hear it, because we grow faster when we do it together. And if you have a second, leaving a five star review helps momplex reach more mamas who need this kind of real talk and support. If you want more support and guidance or just someone in your corner, be sure to visit scottydirt.com to learn more. Get in touch with me or dive deeper into this work until next time mom, Trust yourself, trust your gut. You already know what to do, and you are exactly the mama your kids need. I love you. I'll see you next time you.