Humboldt Crash Survivor Ryan Straschnitzki

Matt Cundill  0:01  
Bob, this is tear off the tape, a project from the group at I got mined, discussing the often overlooked emotional and psychological toll of trauma. Now here's your host, Bob Wilkie,

Bob Wilkie  0:17  
hi everybody. Bob Wilkie, here with you for another great edition of tear off the tape. Really excited about the conversation we're going to have today. And again, the whole purpose of the tear off the tape is just, you know, people sharing their stories, the different things that they've been through, the different places it's taken them. So we don't have to carry around all of those just burdens, regrets, sad moments, right? The more that we can unload those by tearing off the tape. So we got a great session planned for you today, someone I met through again, some of the worst circumstances, but my guest today is Ryan strasnisky, and Ryan was a part of the Humboldt Broncos back in 2018 so we're going to dive into it today. Ryan, thank you so much for being here. Really excited for the conversation. Yeah, thank you for having me. One of the things that we like to start with, with all of our guests, is kind of, where are you from? Where'd you grow up? You, like me, had a passion for hockey. How did that passion come about? Yeah.

Ryan Straschnitzki  1:17  
So I grew up in Calgary, Alberta, and, you know, at the boat, the age of, like, four, my dad got me into the sport. He's a die hard flames fan, so he wanted me to play hockey. So I remember waking up for those 6am practices as a kid and not being too excited about the game. But, you know, the more I played it, the more I went up the ranks, the more I started to enjoy it and create friendships and have all these memories and reap the rewards of what sport has to offer. So I've been very fortunate to have played hockey at a young age. And, you know, grew up out here. Eventually, when I was about 12, I moved out to Airdrie, which is about 20 minutes north, and continued to play hockey up the ranks. And, yeah, eventually, you know, when you hit 16, you know, 1516, years old, and you end up being decent at the sport, you get to move away from home and and learn what it's like to grow up as a young adult and play the sport you love.

Bob Wilkie  2:07  
You know, for me, it was pretty young. I was 10 when I had my first really eye opening experience that, yeah, scared me a little bit, made me really not trust the adults, you know, showed how crazy the game can make people. What were some of the experiences that you had at a young age that kind of caused some of that psychological and not quite sure?

Ryan Straschnitzki  2:30  
Yeah, there's definitely times as a young kid when you know you're still learning how to play the game. You're still learning all the skills. And if you have, like, a bad game, according to your parents, especially, my dad was was good, but he was hard on me at times. And I think there were times where I lost a lot of trust, because the car ride home was what I feared the most. And if I knew that I had a bad game or a bad shift, I would get so hard on myself because I didn't want to face what would happen after the game, right? So the game became less fun, and it's really prevalent now. Like, you know, I was at a flames game last night, and it went to overtime, and, you know, my friends are all saying, you're like, oh, overtime is awesome. I would have loved to play next goal wins, but I told them, I was like, you know, that's the scariest thing. I didn't want to be out there and cause a goal, right? Because I knew it was coming back on me, right? And that's, that's kind of how I felt. I mean, regardless of, you know, you know, good game, a bad game, I still feared making mistakes, and, you know, not being good enough, because I felt like it was going to come back on me 1010, times harder. So there were moments. There wasn't a specific moment, but there's definitely moments as a kid where I feared, kind of that car ride home that kind of not ruined the sport, but made me worried about not being good enough.

Bob Wilkie  3:38  
No, it's interesting that you bring that up, because it is one of the things. I mean, they make commercials about it, right? Because it's a real thing and to have, especially as a young person. Hey, straw, I was, like, it was really hard. Like, I remember telling my dad one time, if this is the way you're going to be after games, and I'll get a ride with someone else. Like, it was just so stressful. And I remember some specific games, like, just so worked up that I was throwing up. I just couldn't, I couldn't even manage it. Did you? Did you have any of that kind of stuff too as a young guy?

Ryan Straschnitzki  4:09  
Oh, absolutely. I used to throw it before certain games because it gets so nervous, right? And everyone's like, Oh, Straz is sick. He's sick. I'm like, No, I'm just terrified. Like, you know, not scared of the game and playing, but like, scared of, you know, not being, not playing to my best, and having that come down on me. But, yeah, I'm the same way. I would throw up or feel like throwing up before every game. And unless I threw up, you know, it was with me the whole game. But I don't know if you felt the same way, but after you throw up, you feel way better, and you actually play, play better.

Bob Wilkie  4:37  
Maybe I did. And the sad part is, you know, because, you know, we do play well in those instances. Then, then I think that I got to put myself in that state to do well the next time, too. Strazen, so we can really develop a lot of things that, yeah, we don't talk about with people. It's just something that we have in our head that we must accomplish. And unfortunately, so. Much of that pressure and stress, as I learned much later, was just all my own self induced shit, right? Yeah, when, when did you come to realize that that was a pattern that you had developed through this process?

Ryan Straschnitzki  5:14  
I think even after, you know, my accident playing adapted sports going forward is, you know, these sports I'd only been playing for two years, and I have goals and aspirations. To be the best in Canada at it and making mistakes and getting mad at myself, right? And everyone's like, Dude, you're so new. It'd be like, strapping on skates after you're trying to make the NHL, right? It's, it's not going to happen. So I think it took some time, and I'd say in the past year, I've probably learned to just understand the mistakes are part of it, right? And I'm 26 now, right? And this has been going on since I was, you know, five, six years old, so it took a ton of time, but I'm starting to realize, you know, through other sports, it's like, you know, mistakes are part of it. Just, you know, it's just a game at the end of the day, right? It's, but, yeah, like you said, it carries on for a long time, and unless you come to terms with it and really work on it. It's going to stay with you,

Bob Wilkie  6:02  
because we have that pattern in going to perform. Do you find that you have that anywhere else in your life, too? Straz, where you might experience that same kind of thing? Like, sometimes it's relationships that can cause that. Sometimes it's speaking, because I know that you're doing that now too. Is there anything else that that that's kind of a part of your process when you have to deal with something that's difficult? That's difficult, for

Ryan Straschnitzki  6:23  
sure, I think confrontation, like in relationships with friends, it's something I don't I don't enjoy, like, it's something that, when I'm in it, like, it'll come out way more than I want it to. But for the most part, I try to avoid it, and I hate it, and want to make sure everything's all right. And I'm always worried, you know, if someone has a problem with me, I want to solve it. I want to get it out of the way. You know, it's just, it's a psychological thing, like you said. But I think over the years of going to therapy, it's, it's funny, even recently, my therapist mentioned this two sides of myself. It's like the one that comes out in sport, the one that comes out public speaking in front of the camera, this confident version of yourself, and then the real version of you, not not the fake, but the real version of you that wants to be introverted and kind of not be around people, and who has doesn't quite have the swagger and confidence that you showcase the world when you're out right and, yeah, I guess I've been wrestling with that thought a little bit lately. Is, is figuring that out and finding who I really am, and finding that balance without exhausting the other side.

Bob Wilkie  7:23  
Such great points there, because it truly is. What I found in my experience was you have a hat and a mask for this, you have a hat and a mask for this, you have a hat and a mask for this. And I never really knew who I was, and I think that was one of the biggest parts of my healing journey, was bringing all those into one person. And I didn't need the hat and I didn't need the mask anymore, right? I just developed skills that if I had to go and do certain things, I prepared in a different way. Whereas, when we're young and we go through those things, yeah, we tend to avoid, deflect, yeah, just not want to deal with that. I stress like it's such a hard thing to be comfortable in your own skin. Exactly.

Ryan Straschnitzki  8:04  
It gets exhausting when you try to be someone you're not. I mean, I'll be honest, like, I think growing up, I was a bit of a nerd, like, I liked, you know, comics, I liked, you know, all these nerdy things, but yet you go into school and you're like, This hockey jock guy that's, you know, somewhat popular, and you're supposed to be this guy, and you're like, all right? And it gets exhausting, right? And you have this sort of identity conflict and crisis, where you're older now, and you're like, Well, I still enjoy those old things, but everyone sees me as this person. So do I have to keep please everyone and be this guy and waste all my time and energy, or do I just be myself? And it's a lot of conflict and wrestling around, but yeah, it's learning to not exhaust the other side, and finding that balance, like you said,

Bob Wilkie  8:44  
it was such an important component. Because when we don't do those things, what we're doing is we're taping things up, right? That again, comes back to tear off the tape. It's when, when we can tell those people, it's like, hey, when you do this, it makes me really uncomfortable, or I'm terrified to have this conversation right now, but it's so important that we have it right. Being able to acknowledge the fact that we're ready to tear off some of that tape and deal with something in a different way allows us to be more whole. So it's a really interesting part of the process. So you're 1415, you're in Airdrie, you start to move up a little bit. And how did you come to be in Humboldt.

Ryan Straschnitzki  9:21  
So yeah, when I was 16, I tried out for a team out near Calgary called the strathmore bisons. They had a huge draw zone, six, 700 kids trying out a year, and it's a hard team to make, but if you make it, you know you're one of the top and they usually go to the finals. And remember trying out, and I just came back from Victoria like the Royals and the who their camp, and had a lot of confidence I was ready to go, and then they basically caught me saying that I was just too young that they're looking for 17 year old defenseman. And you know that, obviously, you know, coaches have the reason, you know that could just, could have just been an excuse to cut me, whatever the case. But I wasn't satisfied with that, and I ended up getting a release to go try out for a team called. The Leduc oil kings. They're just just below Edmonton there. And yeah, I went out for like, a one day tryout and hopefully made a good impression with the coaches, and left everything out on the ice. They ended up taking me that year. So I moved in with a teammate and his family for the entire season. And that was a that was a whirlwind learning to grow up at 16, and I didn't have a car, so I had to go wherever my billet brother was going. Played there in my 17 year old season. We went all the way to Nationals. So TELUS cup, and, you know, left a pretty good impression. And I had some choices to make. You know, was I going to go to the BCHL AJ, I think, got an offer from Matt hat tigers and the who and, yeah, just had all these choices to make. And ultimately, there was talks with a couple college teams. So I decided to stay in Alberta to play for the white court Wolverines of the HHL. And yeah, within three games, the coach called me to his office getting ready for a south road trip. He's like, hey, we made a trade. I'm thinking, Oh, he says you're going to Saskatchewan. And my eyes lit up, and I crossed my fingers. I'm like, don't be Laurent. Don't be fun, fun. And he's, he said, Yeah, you're going to Humboldt. So that's, that's kind of how I ended up out there is I got traded right away.

Bob Wilkie  11:09  
It's just amazing how similar our stories are. Because I was 16, my first year in the western league with Calgary. It was the beginning of my second year with a new coach and new general manager that I get traded the Swift Current Broncos. So when you're 16, I'll just go back a little bit, you know, when you moved away from home that first time, how difficult was that for you? You know, living in that new world, or was it easier now that you didn't, maybe have some of the pressure from from home and all the people in your community?

Ryan Straschnitzki  11:40  
I think it was a mix. I think there was no pressure from, you know, my dad coming. Nobody knew who I was, so I was just out there, kind of playing, trying to develop. But I found the hardest part was being one of the younger guys on the team, trying to get used to the speed of play and the size, and it's a big jump from, you know, minor midget, yeah. I mean, the speed of play was tough. I honestly didn't have that great of a year, and it was a lot of like trying to get used to living to living away from home and making new friends and being the youngest kid on the team in high school, like trying to balance everything right. It was just, it was a huge learning curve. But I think going into my 17 year old season the next year is what gave me kind of the the confidence to really thrive in that environment. I had a way better year my second year, obviously, but yeah, that first year was, was a big adjustment period.

Bob Wilkie  12:25  
Yeah, there's always that learning curve that we have to go through. And you know, some people make it through Straz, and you've known people that you played with too, that didn't make it through just because it was so hard, right? What were some of the things that were helpful to you to be able to get through that, that challenging time of, of realizing that you're, you're kind of on your own in the world here,

Ryan Straschnitzki  12:46  
yeah, it's, uh, it's one of those things where I lean on my dad a little bit for advice. He's like, you know, start by getting outside your comfort zone. Like, like I said earlier, I'm kind of an introvert, right? I'll kind of do my own thing and be fine with that. But if I wanted to make friends, if I wanted to actually, like, do stuff besides just sitting at home, you know, look at the person next to you in class and be like, Hey, I'm Ryan. Like, nice to meet you. What's there to hear what's there to do in LaDuke. And that kind of gave me the confidence, even though it wasn't really hockey related. It was just like a lesson that I learned in life, that sometimes the uncomfortable things are what you need to kind of push through in order to thrive and get through in life. And so that started with making friends at school, and then, you know, getting outside my comfort zone, asking to go for lunch with one of the boys, like, you know, talking advice, asking the coaches for help. Like, really, getting outside of my shell is what gave me kind of the confidence to keep moving forward and understand that okay, like, you know, I may be on my own, but at least I can, you know, lean on other people and ask for advice and guidance through this process.

Bob Wilkie  13:44  
So you end up in Humboldt little more confident anything from the trade. Were you? Were you like for me, I was, I was pissed, and then I was kind of excited at the same time,

Ryan Straschnitzki  13:54  
yeah, at the start, you know, when I got the news, I called my trainer at the time. His name is Cody Thompson, rocky Thompson's brother, and he was, he mentioned he's like, hey, you know what this is. It's okay. If you're good enough, someone will find you. Because my thought process was going Saskatchewan wasn't going to be as good of a league. You know, I was going there because I wasn't good, like, I had all these different spiraling thoughts. And it's a four hour ride home from white court to Airdrie, so there's a lot of sad music being played and getting ready to go out that weekend before making my way out to Humboldt. So kind of get it out of your system there. But I remember thinking as soon as I got to Humboldt and I met the guys, and Darcy Hogan, the head coach at the time, was really nice, and he basically explained that they needed a young defenseman that could play lots of minutes. And so that kind of excited me, because in white court, I wasn't getting those minutes. I wasn't, you know I was, I was under a coach. I don't know if you know the name Gord Thibodeau, but he's, yeah, so I played for him, and that's whole nother, whole nother story, but yeah, so I ended up going to humble, completely different side of coaching. Ended up playing a lot of minutes, getting power play time as a rook. Which is, you know, rare Junior. So getting that opportunity, I think, is what really gave me the hope to keep moving forward and try to be the best that I could to help the team win

Bob Wilkie  15:09  
the experience with Gord, I have to come back to that a little bit, because I know that there's coaches out there that challenge players in so many different ways. And you know, he is definitely one of those older school coaches who likes to push his players to the max. Had lots of them growing up, created some issues for me with people in power position. Straz, did you have any of that like you're an introvert, you're trying to step out of your shell. Does your experience with someone like that make you a little leery of actually communicating with coaches.

Ryan Straschnitzki  15:41  
Oh, absolutely. Like I, you know, you almost cave under pressure. It reminded me of, like, if you make a mistake, you're hooped, right? You're gone, right? And he would, you know, and Gord, you know, outside of hockey's, he's a great guy, and I he means well, and he's had success, but I think it was something that I was never used to. So, you know, intermission, if you I would watch a rookie defenseman, another guy get yelled at and get threatened to get traded right away mid game, or if he made a mistake, Gordon made him unchanging, getting up in the stands and watch the rest of the game, right? And I'm, you know, I'm kind of like, oh my god, do not make mistakes. Do not go outside your comfort zone. Play it safe. And then he doesn't like that either, right? So it was just a lot of confusion. I remember one time we played spruce Grove and a double header for their home opener. We lost both games. And he would show us video, and he would point out your mistakes. He'd be like, why'd you do that? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, Okay, you know, I know that now. But then he would make you bank skate an entire practice, like he would spend an entire practice doing a bag skate in which you run the same route board up to the blue line, red line, back pedal board, you know, for 45 minutes. And I just got new skates, and I ended up slipping on the red line, of course. And so he blew the whistle, he made the team sit on the bench, and then he made me start on the red line and do laps for 10 minutes, one way stop, do 10 minutes, the other way, in front of the whole team. Practice over. So being put in that environment, I mean, I was just like, terrified to play almost. And some people thrive under that type of coaching, but I didn't that was hard.

Bob Wilkie  17:16  
No, I think it's one of the things that you know, people would consider to be the problem, and I watch players not affected by that at all, right? For me, yeah, I it affected me terribly, like that, too, Straz, where it just gets in your head, and now you're just terrified to make those mistakes or say anything or ask questions, right? Because the interactions that we have with those people is not good, okay? So you get to have Darcy. What was the difference between Darcy and Gord? Darcy?

Ryan Straschnitzki  17:49  
I mean, he was such a down to earth human, you know, on the ice, off the ice, he really cared about developing the individual. I think even before the accident, there was there was times where I would struggle. There was things going on at home that I was not missing out on, but, you know, things that were happening in my life that are pretty traumatic, you know, involving friends and whatnot, and struggling with that, and trying to make it to this next level, trying to get that scholarship, trying to do whatever I could, and then dealing with stuff that I wasn't home for was was tough. But Darcy, you know, he'd sit me down, he'd just talk and kind of reflect and be really like in the moment, if that makes sense, like he would really care about the individual he was. He's creating, because he wanted to create better humans leaving the program than when they came in. And I think, you know, I wouldn't say I was a very, not a bad person, but not I wouldn't follow the rules, essentially, and not a bad boy, but like, you know, disturber, yeah, exactly. So I went into humble kind of being this kid, not arrogant, but just, you know, like, I'll kind of do what I want, and, you know, help the team win, right? So he really made sure that I followed the rules, but ended up leaving as a better person than when I came in. So the difference with Darcy was that he was such a good human being, and he cared a lot about the person you were, versus just the hockey player, which was, you know, something that I really, really enjoyed.

Bob Wilkie  19:11  
You bring up a really interesting part in that, Ryan just about how you were dealing with some stuff away from, you know, what you know, what you were passionate about and what you were pursuing. And I think a lot of people, you know, don't realize the impact it can have when we're trying to do stuff. So, you know, there's all these different areas of our life, and if one of them were dealing with, you know, trauma and difficulty and challenges while we're trying to do something that we know we have to be good at, that can get into our heads too. So now you kind of got two different approaches. Here you got some hockey stuff that can be real difficult, and now you got some life stuff that can kind of add to that too. As a 17 year old living away from home, how were you managing that? What were you going through on your own as an introvert?

Ryan Straschnitzki  19:58  
Yeah, I think. Same kind of the same thing in LaDuke, right? Is trying to get outside of my comfort zone. I'd never been to Humboldt. I didn't know what was out there. Some of my days consisted of, you know, morning skate, go home, do nothing, go to the gym, later, go home, do nothing. You know, game days were nice because you get to hang with the guys all day, play a game. But then, you know, when you're home, you're just like, watching a movie. Or, you know, I didn't really have, you know, I wouldn't say purpose, but I needed to find something to do. And so eventually got to the point where I just asked Darcy, I'm like, I want to get a job. Like, I I'm going to rent my SAT, but in the meantime, I want to get a job. I want to, you know, get some gas money, like, whatever the case, right? And actually, my first job with Darcy was like, Okay, well, you know, the storage room needs cleaning and guess needs, the equipment box needs to get repainted. So I would spend weekend after weekend cleaning out all the old storage, all the old gear. There's, like, you know, the mascot that hadn't been cleaned in 30 years. Like the equipment box was painted. I actually, I told my teammate I'd split it with them, whatever, we'd be getting paid if he helped me paint. So we ended up painting it the wrong color of our team, so we had to repaint it. But, yeah, just finding, finding many jobs. I mean, it was, it was awesome. And give me that sense of purpose and that drive of like, okay, you know, you got to work for your bucks, and that teaches it more than than, than hockey. I guess sometimes

Bob Wilkie  21:16  
really good, you know, the there's that saying the idle mind is the devil's workshop. And I think a lot of times people get so stuck in their head that it just makes it that much more worse, too. So happy to hear that you figured that out, because that's something I learned too, is right. Keep yourself somewhat busy. Always have purpose in your life. Okay, so the season's going along. You're feeling pretty good. The team's starting to have some success. You guys are coming into playoffs now, Straz and things are starting to roll. What's happening with this group of young men? What are you seeing? What are you experiencing?

Ryan Straschnitzki  21:47  
Yeah, this is a junior, junior hockey at its finest. Like all the top guys are performing the 20 year olds. They have something to prove, right? They're trying to go on to the next level. They're trying to get their scholarships. They're trying to, you know, not just quit hockey after, right, after the year you're following. So they want to leave a lasting impression. And I think we had one more overage or than we were allowed. So they ever, you know, a 20 year old would have to sit every game. And so obviously that was a different scenario. I wasn't involved in that. But seeing that was like, you know, hard, because it's like, okay, I don't want to be in that position when I'm at at that age, right? I want to be good. So you're, you have this pressure to perform and make the team want you the next year, right? Because over the summer, you could get traded again. You could, you know, you never know what's going to happen. So you're, you're leaving everything out of the ice and the intensity the fans coming in. I mean, it was super cool, because it's a small town, you know, we're used to 1500 2000 fans, which is great. But playoffs was another, another level, like, kind of gives you that energy to really perform and do well. So it was funny, though, like my first, maybe second playoff game, we're playing against our rivals, the Melfort Mustangs, and one of their D men, we're going for a puck, and he hit the puck, and turn and I hit him at the same time. He ended up going to the boards, funny, broke his shoulder and got knocked out from this hit. And I'm like, oh, like, you know, but nobody came and fought me. But anyways, I was like, it was just an awkward hit. No, I wasn't trying to hurt. The guy. Ended up getting a two game suspension, so now I'm sitting out two games, right? I'm still trying to be like, Oh crap. Like, I want to show I have value to the team. We ended up actually winning the series while I was suspended. So now I'm thinking, Uh oh, you know, Darcy doesn't like to change his way, so maybe he has this momentum. And so we play game one into a Nippon, and I'm not suspended anymore, but I'm scratched because we won the last couple games without me, and we lost those two games in nip one. So we're like, All right, well, guess I'm back in the lineup for game three, and for the first time all year, we finally beat Nippon like okay, we have momentum, right? We're going into game four and Humboldt, you know, chance to tie the series. We play all three periods. We're tied, you know, over time. Number one tied over time. Number two still tied over time number three, right? We're gas. We just want someone to score. We ended up getting a penalty, and they scored on the power play. So, you know, down three games to one, going to game five and nip win, right? Like it's a do or die game, right? We're, hopefully everyone's minds are all geared towards winning. Nobody's given up yet. So that's what led to April 6 of 2018,

Bob Wilkie  24:15  
so you're on the bus, you're, you're excited for the game, the opportunity. Yeah, it's just so interesting. You know, having the same background. Bus was never a place that I worried, you know, it wasn't something that I ever considered, or I ever wasn't comfortable on Straz. Same for you. I mean, the bus was our second home, yeah, yeah.

Ryan Straschnitzki  24:39  
You spend so many hours on the bus, it's like a second home. You don't think about anything. You just do your thing. You guys are laying on the floor. Guys are, you know, doing their thing, and they eat there. You sleep there. It's, it's, you're there for hours on end. And so I remember, you know, the day of the accident. You know, nothing changes. You know, a couple hours to nip one and I. I remember I was reading a book on Darcy Tucker and had my headphones in. And yeah, everything's sort of, you know, when you're about 20 to 30 minutes, you can feel the energy in the bus go quieter. And I had my headphones in, I remember the exact same song I was listening to, because I'm pretty superstitious. And, yeah, I just heard this, like scream from the front of the bus. And I, I poked my head down the aisle, the bus driver had both his hands on the wheel, and he was looking to his right, and within an instant, I just saw this, you know, bright orange color, and this the front of a semi truck coming for the bus. And it was weird, because everything just kind of went black. And I'm not sure how much. Long after I woke up, I just remember opening my eyes, looking all all the mayhem and debris in front of me, and, you know, in my head, I'm just thinking, okay, get up. Right like, you know, in hockey, you're told, my dad always telling me, if nothing's broken, just try to get up. And so I go to move, and I'm stuck and stuck and stuck, and I look down and there's nothing holding me down. It's just my legs. They just aren't responding. So instant panic. I don't know what's happening. Something's wrong, you know, I try to yell for help, but with the injuries that I sustained, with my broken ribs and punctured lungs and head trauma, I couldn't do that either. So you know, at this point, I'm just, you know, you're terrified, because you don't know if you're going to make it out of this. You're just going in and out of consciousness. You're in a lot of pain, you're trying to wrap your head around everything. And yeah, I didn't know what was next, and I just got loaded up into an ambulance, taken to a hospital in Tisdale, and then, yeah, woke up to a nurse standing over me saying, like, we have to airlift you to the University of Saskatchewan Hospital in Saskatoon. And then, yeah, then got flown over there, taken through a bunch of tests and exams, and then told that I would have spinal cord surgery the next day. And, you know, I thought that meant, okay, we're gonna fix this, but yeah, I didn't know. I didn't know what what that meant, and woke up in the hospital bed with friends and family and still unable to move my legs.

Bob Wilkie  26:52  
As as it all kind of comes in for me. I didn't know the gravity of it. All right. Very much. Like you. Chaos, people all over the place. I went into shock and actually shut down and woke up in the hospital like I just collapsed because I couldn't, I couldn't handle what I was seeing. When, when you start to find out the scale of it. Straz, what, what starts to happen for you?

Ryan Straschnitzki  27:23  
It was, it was weird. I remember, I didn't have my phone. I didn't I know the doc. I would ask the doctors about, you know, the teammates and what happened, and nobody would tell me anything. I ultimately found out because my dad was there, and he gave me his phone, and I just saw on Twitter the extent of everything. And, you know, that's like, you know, you can't even wrap your head around that it. Don't, you almost become desensitized. And you're, you're you're looking at this phone, but you're not you, you're just a bystander. You're not even Ryan. You're just looking at it. You can't wrap your head around it. And then I just remember, you know, right after all the calls coming in, all the people following and, you know, doing all these different things. Like, it got, like, it became a lot, to the point where I was answering calls, but I was so, I was so, like, tired and defeated. I just would pass out, made interview or talk and just like, I wasn't eating. I wasn't able to stay awake longer than, like, two minutes a day. I was still in emergency, so I didn't know what was happening. It just became like a huge whirlwind. But I was so exhausted that I couldn't do anything. So yeah, I think my whole entire stay in the hospital, I lost like 50 pounds because I didn't eat. It was it was crazy.

Matt Cundill  28:37  
And now more with Bob Wilkie and tear off the tape.

Bob Wilkie  28:43  
No, I'll never forget that day that we walked in to the ICU and saw you guys lane. Matticuck was a young man that I had known quite well. We had done some work together, so his mom and dad, we knew one of my teammates, Darren Kruger, who lost his brother was there too, and he was part of medicine at Tigers at the time. So Lane was, was, you know, part of their program. Yeah, it was just, it was horrific. But, you know, I'll never forget stras, like when we came around the corner for the first time, you know, you could just hear the sobs coming out of the room where all the parents were, because they weren't allowing a lot of people in. But when we got in there, and, you know, I saw lane and and I saw his parents, and we talked a little bit, and we were kind of going around, and we were getting to meet everybody that was there, and I got to walk in the room with you and your parents, and it blew me away, the attitude that you had and how quickly you had it, talking about, okay, well, I guess if I'm not, you know, going to play in the NHL, I guess I'm going to, you know, be sledge hockey in the Olympics. And how much did that help you kind of get through some of the darkness, like you just described, being able to find those glimpses of a little bit of hope, a little bit of sunshine. It?

Ryan Straschnitzki  30:00  
Yeah, I think, you know, my entire life revolved around getting cut and traded and told you you're dumb, told you're not good at hockey, and the only way forward was literally just to find a new goal and go for it. So I knew that the you know, like you said, Don't be idle. You got to find a purpose. You got to, like, strive for something. And I don't know, you know, what came over me when I said I wanted to play for Team Canada, but I knew that I'm like, Okay, well, if I have the opportunity to help Canada win, and I have the opportunity to play this sport and do these things and do it in honor of everyone, then I'm gonna go for it, and nothing's gonna get in my way. So that was kind of, like that stubborn, sort of resilient attitude of like, you know, the doctors are telling me I'm never gonna walk again, and people think that this isn't going to happen, but I'm going to try to prove them wrong, just because I'm a stubborn Dick sometimes, right? And I want to just rub in their face. And so, yeah, I was always told to, you know, the only time you fail at life or anything is the moment you give up. So for me, it was just about moving forward. The only way forward is forward.

Bob Wilkie  30:59  
I had some horrific scenes in my mind that, I mean, they're not gone, they faded. They're not as clear as they used to be, but they really, you know, prohibited a lot of forward movement for me. Strats, you know, the trauma of things and what we can recall, did that day create any of that for you? Made it difficult to sleep, to be in certain situations, hear certain things, smell certain things, any any remnants of that horrific day, as

Ryan Straschnitzki  31:29  
far as, like, you know, PTSD and stuff like that. It was weird because I didn't actually experience a whole lot of it, like I was sleeping. I wasn't having flashbacks. I wasn't, you know, if I saw a bus, I wouldn't, you know, flinch or anything. I think there was, it was weird because I, I felt bad. I'm like, I'm supposed to be feeling this stuff. I'm supposed to be aired. And I would talk to a therapist about it, and she's like, well, sometimes people, you know Can, can move past that part of the brain where they just, you know, they understand what it is, and they can not have any emotional ties to it, and not not let them affect it. And so, yeah, I guess there were certain maybe moments that reminded me of everything that happened. And you have those emotions, you know, you get sad and all that. But as far as any of those flashbacks for PTSD prohibiting me from from doing the things that I wanted to do, I never really had a lot of that, which was just hard to come to terms with, because it made me question. I'm like, am I, you know, bad person, right? And, you know, everyone handles everything differently. And I guess I just, you know, kind of got lucky. I'd say,

Bob Wilkie  32:27  
yeah, it is an interesting experience. And I think that's the point that we try and make in some of these conversations, is that every everybody handles it differently. And I know I got really upset with a lot of my teammates because I didn't see them handling it in the way that I thought they should they should be sad, or they should be, you know, more upset, they should be more emotional. And I didn't see any of that. And it was just like, how the hell after everything we've been through, can you not be fucking sad right now? And you know, again, the more that we learn about ourselves and trauma and the things that we experience, a very natural reaction. I know I talked to Chris Joseph and, you know, his family, and the way that they dealt with everything was extremely difficult, too. How about your family? I mean, I know my mom was a certain way after that sort of thing, and my dad was a certain way. What did you see from your family after them?

Ryan Straschnitzki  33:17  
They didn't really treat me any differently, which was nice. I mean, my dad kind of stayed the same. Obviously, they're they wanted to learn more about anything, right? Is what I needed help with, what they wanted me to kind of figure out by, you know, struggling a little bit, whether that was, you know, carrying groceries into the house or doing things that I need to do to gain my independence back as this young, 18 year old kid, right? So they didn't really treat me any differently, but I know that for a little while there, like my mom, for sure. She was confused emotionally, like maybe sad for a while, even after but my dad, you know, stayed the same, still same hockey guy, still giving me advice, still chair for me, right? It was, well, it's still good, but yeah, my family didn't treat me any differently. They just, they understand is it's a learning curve for all of us. And, yeah, they're still, I think they're doing good now, you know,

Bob Wilkie  34:04  
with time, I'm happy to hear that I always felt, you know, there was definitely friends, family, you know, people that you don't see all that often, always looked at me differently. They their attitude changed, and that was really hard for me. Straz, you know, for somebody that goes through trauma like that, right? Whatever it is, the way people see you, the way that people treat you, can be very difficult. Did you struggle with any of that? Did you get tired of people looking at you like you were wounded?

Ryan Straschnitzki  34:33  
For sure, yeah, there was definitely moments where, I mean, even aside from being in a wheelchair, there were friends that I hadn't talked to for years, but because, you know your name's kind of out there, like, Oh, you're getting a hospital visit from a kid you barely knew, but he says, You guys are best friends, but you know, all these different things, and then obviously, as time goes on, they disappear. But yeah, I think going out in public, there'd be people that would stop you, pray for you, make a big scene, like they wanted to be known as this good person that knew. Was this kid from this thing, right? So, yeah, it was, it was tough to because, you know, I can put me up on that wall of, like, Can I trust people, right? Is, like, it like a little kid, right? As soon as I get treated differently or it feels disingenuine and kind of weird, I, you know, I try to shut them out, but I'll still be nice and respectful. But, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't really trust people like that. So there's definitely moments where, yeah, like, people who wanted to appear as if they're, you know, good Samaritan, putting their hand on my shoulder, talking to me like, you know, hey buddy, like, as I'm not slow, right? They're talking to me as if I am right. And that was kind of upsetting, because I'm still the same guy, right? I'm still trying to get out in the world. I'm still trying to now create a name for myself and be successful. It was just something that you kind of come to terms with is you can't control people. You know, some people don't know how to talk to people in wheelchairs or or someone you know with this having in the past, right? So, yeah, it's learning to just accept that, you know, people are people, but the ones that don't treat me differently, the ones that know me for who I am, I keep my circle close to me.

Bob Wilkie  36:06  
Yeah, it's so important that we do. And for people out there that are listening, that maybe haven't experienced what we're talking about, but have been around people who have experienced it's important for them to recognize right treating us different. Any of those types of things aren't really comfortable, and if we are one of the wounded to really be able to set the boundaries of what's acceptable and what's not, I found a lot of times I took what people were saying or doing, and I'm sure strategy being the nice guy you are, you are the same thing, right? When you just wanted to tell them, just like, I need some space, not right now,

Ryan Straschnitzki  36:40  
for sure, there was definitely times where people who had heard about it but don't really know the sport and maybe grew up a different way than I did, would get really, not gruesome, but, you know, just like, ignorant, almost like, oh, that must have sucked. I was like, yeah. Like, like, you know, like, what am I supposed to say? And I remember, I mean, that I mean, that I deal with certain things all the time, but I remember doing a talk virtually, and I mentioned, you know, a bit about my story, and I said, Hey, I'm Ryan Strauss key. Unfortunately, I have a spinal cord injury as a result from the accident. And then someone tried to call me an ableist, because she said, the way you say unfortunate spinal cord injury. And I'm like, Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't know you want to. So there's no pleasing everyone, right? And it's just learning that try not to take it personally. And people are people, but like you said, it's hard to say, like, Hey, I don't really want to talk about it, you know? Because, yeah, when you're being a nice guy, when you're growing up as a hockey player, told to be nice and give people the time of day, and when it feels wrong, when you don't give people the answers, because they're like, Oh, what a dick, or something like that, or what other case, right? But they just don't understand. But, yeah, someone got to be better at too

Bob Wilkie  37:49  
well, especially today in the world, right? The way that social media is you can't make one little mistake, right? God forbid you be human, because then everybody's gonna, yeah, tell everybody what an asshole you are, and that's the unfortunate part too. Learning about trauma, I was fortunate to spend some time with Dr Bruce Perry. And you know, Bruce is a specialist. He's been through all sorts of different horrific events, and really learned and studied what happens to us when I think about what Bruce said to me one time, is it's, it's not, it's not the initial, right? The initial is the initial, it's the after. And that's where I really got into a bad place. Ryan was the after, right? The 10 days kind of calmed down. We go back to playing, you know, everything's just kind of business as usual. That's when I really struggled. And for years after that, especially when I left my tribe. How has it been for you? You know, because you were, I mean, you were everywhere when, when you were trying to find a solution with some of the alternative methods to healing the spinal cord injury that you had, how difficult was that experience the next 18 months to two years that you were trying to figure out how and if you were going to be able to walk again? Yeah.

Ryan Straschnitzki  39:10  
I mean, it started right from the get go, when I said I wanted to play sled hockey for Team Canada and I wanted to walk again. Right? Putting that out in the world could have been my own doing. But, you know, now people had this idea that you were going to do these things. And for me, I'm like, you know, I just, these are just goals I set for myself. I may not reach them, but I'm going to do what I can to get close to them. But, I mean, right away, I signed a deal with adidas for sled hockey. And I'm like, Okay, well, I haven't even played. They want me to fly to Toronto to do commercials. And I'm like, I I'm learning how to skate first, right? Like, and, yeah. Same thing with walking. It's like, oh yeah. It looks like you're doing these things. I'm like, with the with the severity of my spinal cord injury, with how severe the the vertebrae shattered, like, my spinal cord was very close to being severed. So, like, there, you know, I do have a less than 2% chance of walking. Walking, but I'm going to, hopefully, you know, put my faith in science and technology to get me close to that goal one day. But, you know, I think putting that out in the world was hard, because people had the standard of me, and now I'm like, Okay, well, I got to, I got to please the people. I got to do these things, and if I don't do them, everyone's going to be let down. And I think that's even more pressure like I faced when I was playing hockey. If I wasn't hitting these goals, if I was, you know, not doing the things that I said I was going to do, it made me feel wrong and unworthy and shameful, almost, and I became really hard on myself. And so ultimately, yeah, I just have to come to the terms of the fact that, like, you know, if I make it, I make it, if I don't, that's okay too. Like the people who know you the future, as long as you're not not working for it, like, as long as you're still striving every day to towards it, people are going to respect it, or they should. And, yeah, there's so many different variables that control the outcome that are out of my control. So learning just to put in the work and enjoy it, right? I think that's the biggest thing is, you know, with physio and trying to walk again, it's like you may not get there, you may get there, as long as you're doing the things to get there and you're actually wanting to do it, to stay healthy and live this lifestyle and be sort of a role model for other individuals that might want to walk again too, right? As long as I can do that, that gives me that drive and purpose. And same thing with sport. I mean, sport doesn't last forever, right? It's not the be all, end all. And, yeah, you just got to enjoy each and every day. And I'm slowly learning that after, you know, 26 years of living, right? So it's funny now, but at the time, it was very hard the first couple years

Bob Wilkie  41:29  
from from the time we come onto the planet, we always talk about, you know, we're purpose seeking organisms, right? We need to be fed, we need to be changed, we need to be right, all these different things and that that progresses, but we have those gaps and stress. Me, the depression took over, even though I was still playing, you know, even though I was still a professional, the depression, the anxiety, certain situation, certain things like it just and I didn't understand, and I didn't think that I could talk about it. How's your experience been, you know, the aftermath and trying to find your new purpose because you were sledge and you got Adidas, and then that's not going and and now, right, like you're trying to find out your purpose in life. Has it been a challenge for you?

Ryan Straschnitzki  42:11  
For sure, I think talking to my therapist over the past few years, it's, it's like when I was 18, I kind of skipped this whole phase of life where you go to college and you learn about yourself, and you learn what you like and follow a path, right? And for me, I kind of skipped a lot of that and started putting myself within environments that nobody My age is kind of ever going to get used to. And so learning how to be this young 18 year old, learning to crawl before I can walk, but also learning to set this life up for myself, because I skipped so many stages of life, and you know, like it ties in the realm of like relationships, like I found myself struggling because, you know, I did. I was finding my path. And sometimes, truthfully, women don't like when you're trying to find yourself they want you know that what you have, right, unfortunately and not, not everyone, but yeah, so I'm trying to figure out all these different things. And on top of that, it was moments where things weren't working out, and you hit these waves of depression. And I wouldn't say it was, like, too, too bad, but there I noticed, you know, not feeling like myself. And you know, I'm gonna sleep in today, I'm gonna take the day off, or all you know, kind of what's the point? And that's not me. And so I needed help. I needed to learn. Learn by, like, going through these shitty moments to find out who I am, and like I said, I'm still figuring that out. I'm still 26 I'm still trying to catch up on all those years I might have lost them, trying to figure out what I wanted to do in life, and it's been a huge learning curve. But I think, yeah, with the right friends and family and just putting yourself in environments that are uncomfortable, and finding yourself and learning about who you are, what you like and don't like is a huge learning curve that I think I skipped when I was 18, but I'm learning them now. So, I mean, it's never too late. I guess

Bob Wilkie  43:47  
life will make you learn them. Straz, that's one thing I've learned. I'm curious. You know, I developed all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms, any, any coping mechanisms that were kind of go tos for you that worked when when it wasn't feeling good.

Ryan Straschnitzki  44:03  
Yeah, I think there were moments where you do anything for a dopamine hit, right? And just, you know, not too extreme, but I mean dabbling, and, you know, certain drugs and alcohol, I mean, it's just, it's, it's there, it's legal, you know, it's like, Why? Why wouldn't you? Everyone else does it, you know, I think, I hate to say it, but, you know, trying to talk to females and try to feel that worthiness, right? Of getting the recognition and going on dates, being like, yeah, like, Look at me. I'm the man, right? And as I've, you know, gotten older, you know, I guess I'll start by saying, like, a three year sober now, which is really good, because I wanted to, you know, really just dive away from it to see what would happen and see you know who I really am, but I've learned to recognize a lot of these patterns now and realize that there are other ways of coping with it. So I've dived into the habit of reading a lot of books and playing guitar and doing the things that are probably healthier than than what I was doing before. So I'm happy with the changes, and I'm at least I can look back and. Uh, you know, see that I've matured because I don't like who I was before. So, yeah, just, just finding different ways to to feel good and be healthy and truly not take life for granted, right? And then do the things that you want to do. And it's, it's hard to unless you've been in a situation like you and I have, right you, you don't really understand that life is super precious, and it could, it can end right away. So it's important that every day you just learn to just really appreciate it, whatever the outcome, just appreciate everything that has happened, appreciate what you're doing right now, and just be very grateful that you're you're here another day.

Bob Wilkie  45:33  
It sounds like you do a lot of work with your therapist. I'm so happy to hear that Straz. A lot of people don't like that part of their story. They hide it. They don't want to talk about it. How has it been helpful for you? Because I know you're out there doing lots of speaking, how's it been for you being able to talk about it and really accept it as part of

Ryan Straschnitzki  45:53  
your story? It's way better now than it was. I mean, like, you know this growing up as a young hockey guy, it's like, you know, mental health. What is that doesn't make sense. And, oh, you're a man. Like, come on. That's not what men do, right? And then it just, it sticks with you. Until I remember that my first therapy session with the therapist I was, you know, connected with. I was uncomfortable, I was antsy. I was answering calls during it, like I just didn't want to be there. I just now, this sucks. And she, she mentioned, mentioned this, and, and I was like, Okay, well, I have to go again, right? Like, you know, it's kind of, my lawyer's making me essentially just for different things. And so I went a second time, okay, it was a little bit better a third time. Phone's not even in the room at this point, you know, fifth, sixth, seventh time, right? I'm starting to be able there. I'm like, oh, that's, that's all the time we have, like, I'd love to keep chatting, right? And this, this pattern of like, Wow, I feel so comfortable. Like, I would rather, you know, be vulnerable and open up and tell people about this and what the power behind it is, then, then hide behind this wall of shame and being like, you know, he's weak and he's, you know, he's not a real man. Like, it's, it's one of those things where I'm like, I'd rather do this and feel good, then feel like shit and hide behind it every, each and every day, right? Like, I Yeah, it's, it's tough because there is a stigma there, and there's worry from a lot of men that you know going to seek help is weak. But, I mean, it's one of the strongest things you can do honestly. Like, if you, if you want to feel like shit and hide behind the shame, and, you know, be this tough macho man like all the power to you, but I'm telling you like it takes time, but the more you build up momentum and start take care, taking care of your mental health, and simply just having conversations, that's, that's all it is, is just having these open conversations. It's, it's nothing crazy. You're not gonna change overnight, but just having these conversations, reframing the perspective gives you that sense of ease. It releases the anxiety and the shame and the depression that might be weighing on you, and unless people do it, it's hard for them to understand.

Bob Wilkie  47:49  
Yeah, you bring up some great points there. You know, the the power of vulnerability. Had somebody introduce me to that at an earlier stage in my life, I think it could have been a lot better for me, because it is one of the most powerful things that I've ever done, and continue to do, because of the power that it gives right strategy. You know, there's nothing better than standing up in a room full of people and being able to talk about all the different experiences and all the different things that you had and those conversations afterwards, and how thankful they are, and how excited they are, and how maybe they're telling you their story for the first time, it can be really beneficial. And then the other point that I think is critically I'm so glad you brought it up. The first time was hard, the second time got easier, the third time a little easier. And I think a lot of people that need to go and find that healing, sometimes you may not even find the right one. Did you find the right one right away? Where have you stuck with the same one?

Ryan Straschnitzki  48:44  
No, I talked to one, but it was, it wasn't. He was a sports psychologist. Was great. He's a great guy, but it just someone I didn't really connect with. You know, it's actually right now, I work with a female and she used to play basketball, and she can kind of relate. And, yeah, like you said finding that match was was kind of tough, but once you find that person, it's like, all right, like, I'm excited for the next

Bob Wilkie  49:06  
session, and we are, unfortunately for as smart as we are as human beings, we really do like to endure a lot of pain. And I think a lot of people who go through the challenges in life that are traumatic, it's so important that we understand that we don't have to live with that pain. Straz, how helpful has that been moving forward to where you're at today, to not keep yourself in that pain?

Ryan Straschnitzki  49:32  
For sure, I think you know, it's funny. This might be a weird analogy, but when I first was going through everything and had all these coping mechanisms and was in a different phase of life. I would cover myself in tattoos. Like, I covered my right arm and shoulders and chest and that pain. I was like, You know what, you know, bring it on. Like, you know, it was a weird feeling. And then I just got my left arm done more recently. And I was like, That sucked. Like, oh my God, I don't want to leave that right. Like, it's so funny, because. It was just tattoos, right? But the different phases of life, I was like, Yeah, as a young kid, you know, dealing with all this stuff, I'm like, Bring it on. Now, this is awesome. Like, make it dark, make it like, you know, really make it make me feel something. And, yeah, doing my left arm in the last year, I was like, All right, that wasn't, why did i What did I feel differently as a young kid, right? And I think that was the biggest thing, was not having to struggle with it. And I think going through therapy, exploring myself and finding things that bring enjoyment to life, I think really helped me feel better. And, you know, feel like the person that I want to be. And, you know, want to carry forward, moving on in life.

Bob Wilkie  50:41  
It's interesting, because you know when, when we experience pain, our body lets us know right away. And you know, if it's a physical pain, especially stress, growing up as athletes like we did, right? You went and got it taped up, you went and got looked at, How long am I going to be? But it was that internal pain that we were never taught about. And I think that's a lot of the stigma that you still talk about today, right? That's out there. We don't call it mental health anymore. Here, we call it mental wealth, just to try and change the perspective, right? Because the emotional poverty that you feel when you're not dealing with your shit, right, is way more disturbing than that little uncomfortableness of opening up and being honest with somebody and really kind of letting them know where they're at. I had a doctor late in my career just kind of say, like, if you don't stop doing this, you're going to get in you're going to put yourself in real trouble because of my threshold of pain. And he wasn't just talking about my threshold for physical pain. It was the emotional, you know, and the mental pain that I really developed a tolerance for, as I'm sure you have to stress, yeah, yeah, the

Ryan Straschnitzki  51:47  
difference, right? The physical pain, it's like, you know, I you talk about, you know, fighting as an example, in hockey, it's like, you know, you almost look for it. You don't look for it. But when you're in the moment, you're like, Bring it on. Like, you turn it up. You don't have a dial. It's like, yes or no, it's black and white, and yeah, like, when it's on, it's on. And you're like, I'll, you know, do anything just to get it out of my system. And then, you know, as you've gotten older and there's no fighting in, you know, wheelchair basketball, it's like, okay, well, this feeling that I'm feeling right, there's a dial. It's a bit of a spectrum, you know, how do I What does this what does this mean? Right? You try to find the meaning behind that anxiety or that that like, dial of like, Why do I go to 100 right? Is it defense? And, yeah, you learn a lot about yourself. But that emotional, internal regulation of, like, dealing with certain traumas is something that I'm still exploring. But again, probably goes back to that feeling of, okay, what's uncomfortable? Why is it uncomfortable? Let's figure it out, right? And push through it and solve it. Because once you do it, it's like, okay, like, feel better. You build momentum, and you don't have to worry about the dysregulation anymore.

Bob Wilkie  52:55  
So it's so good that you have learned that through this process, you know, again, there's always the blessings, right? And sometimes we got to go through the darkness to find the blessings. Tell me what you're up to now. Straz, I know that you're out there speaking, what are some of the things, some of the groups that you're speaking with, and what are some of the things that you like to talk about?

Ryan Straschnitzki  53:16  
Yeah, so a lot of it, you know, I do talk like talks around North America to different corporations and schools and hockey teams and kind of everyone of every demographic. And I typically talk about just my story, starting from when I was 13 and got cut for the first time, and what that felt like, and what that enabled me to do if I wanted to still keep my dream of playing pro hockey alive, and that was putting in the work and learning resiliency and moving away from home at 16, and I only leave the accident as like a little sliver, a pivotal moment in my life. But it's not the entire story. And I want people to understand that, that you're going to face hardships, regardless of what age you're at, whatever you're going through in life, you're going to face those setbacks. But it's like the people that make it forward are the ones that keep going right. It's the ones that learn the lessons they move forward. I talk a lot about, you know, the mental side of things. It's a lot of mindset as you know, right? It's everything in life is, you know, 90% mindset, and it's your perspective on life. And so I enjoy doing that. I also I run a charity organization called the Straz strong foundation, and our aim is to provide adaptive equipment to for people with disabilities. Because my whole life, sport was everything. It taught me so many lessons, so many memories, and it provided so many rewards. And then meeting certain individuals in different respected sports, or para sports, on top of the medical costs that they have to pay for for their kids or whoever, and then having to buy, you know, 10 to $15,000 pieces of equipment just to play the sport was really tough to see, and seeing these individuals not being able to play sport was really hard because, again, I knew the rewards of sport, and so through the foundation, our aim is to provide funding towards equipment to allow them to play the sport they love and reach new heights, or just to have the enjoyment that sport provides and creating those friendships. And memories, right? And that's kind of the reason I started the foundation, was just to provide that opportunity for people you know looking to to find their open door.

Bob Wilkie  55:08  
What's one of the most heartwarming experiences you've had with your foundation?

Ryan Straschnitzki  55:15  
There's so many so on top of the donations, we've made a couple documentaries. So we want to call it the rise and defy series in which these recipients talk about their story. They empower the community, they inspire the people around them. They also show how the equipment's benefiting them, in hopes that we can continue doing this by bringing funds into the foundation. But one of the coolest ones was there was a pro mountain biker named Avon out in Whistler, and on one of his rides, he ended up breaking his neck and became a quadruple quadriplegic. So his goal was to get into his own adapted mountain bike that fit his needs, to get back in the mountains with friends and family. And we're doing this day in Whistler. We got him his bike. We're riding with him. His friends are out there, his family's with him, and we interview his mom, and his mom is like, you know it, it makes me so hopeful, because she wasn't sure what was going to happen in life, and that, yeah, like that, that that hit. So, yeah, it was just really cool to, like, bring the family together and like, provide that hope, you know, and that's kind of what we want to do.

Bob Wilkie  56:14  
It's so important Straz, that we're able to get through and heal our own traumas, but then be able to take our stories and experience to help other people who might be going through it for the first time, so proud and happy that you're doing this with your foundation. Strad strong foundation.com, if you want to give, it's always appreciated, right? Helping other people live their dreams and get back on the path to where they feel good about their lives is so important. Okay, last thing you've done such a great job with us here, for the people that are going through maybe a painful, traumatic event for the first time in their lives, trust. Where's the wisdom

Ryan Straschnitzki  56:56  
that's tough. I mean, there's so many different things. My dad gave me a quote when I was 13, just gotten cut, and it's relevant outside of sport, but it's essentially when one door closes, another one opens, and it might seem like there's nothing but slam doors around you, but if you instill the right habits of You, know, what can you control? I can be a good person. I can help my family member. I can help a friend. I can do stuff beyond myself that'll open up more doorways than you think. I think when we stop looking internally and trying to fix something that doesn't seem fixable, we can look outside of ourselves, try to help the people around us, try to be that good person, the community. And you know, I guarantee that good things will start to come. So obviously, I would recommend seeking therapy and help and doing the things that are good for yourself. But if you have nowhere else to look and it feels like there's nothing but slam doors, try to try to be a good person the community. That's what that's what Darcy taught me, right? Is the the one thing you can control whether life works out or hockey works out, is being that good teammate, being that good family member, being that good community leader. So looking beyond yourself.

Bob Wilkie  57:59  
Great words of wisdom. Straz, thank you so much. I really appreciate your time. Your story. That's a Straz, strong foundation.com. Always looking for more support there. Thank you so much. Take care of yourself and for everybody else. We'll see you in the next episode of tear off the tape

Matt Cundill  58:16  
you've been listening to tear off the tape for more about this show and how you can continue the dialog about trauma. Go to I got mind.ca. A production of the sound off media company. You.